1. Movie magic
Yes, that was yours truly at the Oscars working as a seat-filler for Sharon Stone. Sweet kid, but she just can’t take the fake-vomit-on-the-seat gag.
2. Be careful
Sure, Muhsin Muhammad seems like a great idea now. But so did getting a tattoo of Cher. It’s why I wear a hat.
3. I’m buying
Let’s get Rex Grossman and Muhammad together now. Just for appetizers, and then maybe a few fly patterns.
4. Which is more annoying?
Sammy Sosa or the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. Discuss. On second thought, let us never talk of this again.
5. One last thing
That Jeter Center brouhaha was hysterical. Advantage: Yankees.
6. You’re fired
If there was ever grounds to fire a coach, it was when Temple coach John Chaney ordered a player to “goon it up” on his opponent. Prediction: Say goodbye to Mr. Chaney.
7. Did you know?
Since Jan. 1, Kirk Hinrich has as many double-digit rebound games as Eddy Curry.
8. Beep, beep
A soccer ball with a microchip has been invented that will beep when it crosses the goal line. If it doesn’t cross for over 10 minutes, it will yell out “boring!”
9. To a real cupcake
Note to Maurice Clarett: Lay off the Twinkies.
FIVE THINGS…
Five future sports books:
– “How I killed the NHL,” by Gary Bettman.
– “My life out of football,” by David Terrell.
– “It’s never too early to say I’m not sorry,” by Sammy Sosa.
– “What the hell do you want?” by Barry Bonds
– “The post-MJ years: A confessional,” by Jerry Krause.
