TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: BULLS WIN THREE OUT OF FOUR GAMES IN FIVE DAYS. WHAT’S NEXT?
TOPIC 2: YOUR INITIAL REACTION TO THE NEWS THAT THE BEARS SIGNED AN ALL-PRO WIDE RECEIVER?
TOPIC 3: WHAT BASEBALL TEAM DID THE MOST TO IMPROVE THEIR LINEUP IN THE OFF-SEASON?
TOPIC 4: MICHAEL JORDAN’S SON HIT THE BIG SHOT FOR HIS HIGH SCHOOL TEAM AT THE UC. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
TOPIC 5: MAURICE CLARETT RAN A SLUGGISH 4.82 40-YARD DASH AT TRYOUTS. WHAT’S HE BEEN DOING FOR TWO YEARS?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Six got afraid because seven ate nine. Ha, ha, ha! Ehhh.
I immediately imagined David Terrell being catapulted clear out of Soldier Field.
Gotta love Seattle adding Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre. And for only $115 million!
Somewhere, Craig Ehlo’s son is crying.
Watching 2003 Rose Bowl highlights and eating ice cream. Lots of ice cream.
PHIL THOMPSON
They absolutely have to win six of seven games in eight days.
No way a team like the Bears lands Muhsin Muhammad. Must have been a Muhstake.
The Mets. They must have placed a detour sign by Yankee Stadium.
Don’t think. Sign him. Just do it.
Putting on a spare tire instead of running through them.
LEO EBERSOLE
Ben Gordon retires to pursue a baseball career.
They’ll still find a way to force the ball to a bad tight end.
The Seattle Mariners, although I’m not completely sold on their pickups.
He’ll be in the Charlotte Bobcats’ front office in two years.
Injecting himself with fettuccine alfredo.
WHIZZER
Six geese a-laying. Ah, silly geese.
Tears. But then I was in the middle of “Million Dollar Baby” so, you know. Mo cuishle.
The Washington Nationals. They had NOBODY last season. Hey ho!
The entire state of Utah cried, “Foul.” Oh, shut up, Utah.
Stretching … for that box of Krispy Kremes. So good, sooo good.
BAG BOY
How about six NBA titles? Oh, no wait, sorry, that was LAST decade.
But … but … NEGATIVITY CIRCUITS OVERLOADED! Stand back, I’m gonna blow!
I wake up at night in a cold sweat thanks to the Cardinals and Mark Mulder.
He retires this spring to play baseball.
Preparing for a long and fruitful career in the Columbus Flag-Football League.
