TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: THE BEARS CUT DAVID TERRELL. WHAT’S NEXT FOR 2001’S NO. 8 PICK OVERALL?
TOPIC 2: HOW WOULD YOU PUNISH TEMPLE’S JOHN CHANEY FOR SENDING A GOON INTO A GAME?
TOPIC 3: WHAT WAS THE GREATEST SPORTS MOMENT OF FEBRUARY 2005?
TOPIC 4: AFTER “MILLION DOLLAR BABY,” WHAT’S THE NEXT GREAT SPORTS MOVIE ON THE HORIZON?
TOPIC 5: IMAGINE ONE HIGHLIGHT FROM ANY OF SUNDAY NIGHT’S LATE HOLLYWOOD OSCAR PARTIES.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
In something of a shock, he’ll enroll in beauty school and major in nails.
Make him spend an evening looking at John Calipari’s honeymoon pictures.
Blue shocked Yellow, 7-6, in an Oak Park adult hockey league thriller.
“$8 Million Dollar Utility Infielder.”
Hilary Swank brings leftovers home for husband Chad Lowe. He eats them.
PHIL THOMPSON
Like many ex-players, the booth awaits him. I’m guessing at the Skyway toll plaza.
Doom him to forever look like the Temple Owl. Oh wow.
Can’t pick one, but somehow they all involve Ben Gordon.
“Herbie: Fully Loaded.” Lindsay Lohan stars as a NASCAR driver, presumably Jeff Gordon.
Jamie Foxx hospitalized after drinking champagne from Star Jones Reynolds’ Payless shoes.
LEO EBERSOLE
Induction into the Failed University of Michigan Wideout Hall of Fame with Marquise Walker.
I’d send Bag Boy to heckle him while he runs errands. A goon for a goon, that’s what I say.
Gordon knocking down six 3s in a Bulls win over Miami.
“D5: Mighty Ducks Cancel Their Season.”
Paris Hilton lobbying Scorsese for a part in “The Aviator 2.”
WHIZZER
Get to work on qualifying for next year’s Daytona 500.
Make him stand under the basket and take a charge. One hundred and seventeen times.
Lean month. I say “recalling the U.S. hockey team’s February of 1980.”
“Hoosiers 2: Electric Boogaloo.” It’s 50 years later, and it’s time to dance!
Spider-man puts major moves on the mom from “The Incredibles.” No digits, though.
BAG BOY
“This is an automated response from Bag Boy. I’m too busy dancing in the streets to reply …”
He’s sentenced to one month on the set of “The Jerry Springer Show.”
See my answer to No. 1. Rinse, repeat.
“Who’s Your Boo?” All Bag Boy wanted was a title. All he got was a kick in the teeth.
Leo DiCaprio crashes a vintage Hughes aircraft into the roof of the Vanity Fair party.
