1. Brown is beautiful
Shannon Brown and Dee Brown make the Final Four, another Dee Brown wins ESPN’s “Dream Job,” the Cleveland Browns hire a new coach, Dan Brown churns out best sellers. It’s only a matter of time before Hubie Brown gets that guest shot on “The View.”
2. Big games, big weekend
With two more wins, Illinois gets a title, the NCAA single-season record and the No. 3 seed in the NBA’s Eastern Conference.
3. Skip this item
I don’t care if that doctor told “60 Minutes” about NFL players and steroids. If he says one word about my Viagra, I sue. I mean, no, wait.
4. Dearest fans
Who’s the best player in Chicago? Buehrle? Wood? Ramirez? Konerko? Who the hell cares? Stop acting like a small-market city and focus on a World Series already.
5. Apologies
Sorry, that was the leftover orange beer talking. I love you all.
6. Double jeopardy
Michigan State puts both its men’s and women’s teams in the Final Four. Or sets themselves up for twice the heartbreak.
7. The Big Three
Answer: Baylor, LSU and Tennessee. Question: What three schools wish their men’s teams also were in the Final Four?
8. What a knee-jerk
I hear the words “Title IX,” and my instant reaction is, “Oh do we really need another ‘Rocky’ movie?”
9. Reminder
Since Illinois has announced celebration plans whether they win or lose, here are mine: If they win, huge party at Excalibur. If they lose, we egg Louisville.
FIVE THINGS…
Five more important Browns:
– UPS trucks
– The movie “Jackie Brown”
– My old booth at the Brown Derby
– Charlie Brown – Britney Spears’ hair (for now)
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redeyesports@tribune.com; edited by the sports staff of RedEye.
