The Tempo Subcommittee on Public Conflict Resolution was relieved to see Rev. Jesse Jackson back in the media spotlight this week. It just reminded us there are so many matters that cry out for a masterful counselor’s singular skills:
– The foie gras fray that has pitted pro-liver Tru chef Rick Tramonto against the anti-liver Charlie Trotter.
– The naughty little lives led by those sassy vixens on Wisteria Lane. Clearly, “Desperate Housewives” needs a steady spiritual hand.
– All those rebuffed contestants on “The Apprentice.” As one might say to The Donald, “To pronounce that these folks have been fired/Is unspeakably cruel, uninspired/Swallow this, Mr. Trump/You Neanderthal chump/I will sue to make sure they’re rehired.”
– Across the pond, that nice Prince Charles could use help penning a heartfelt, prenuptial apology for stealing his Camilla away from her hubby.
– Jackson could resolve all this March Madness by offering his guidance to the Fighting Illini.
– And as it is nearly the eve of Opening Day, we sadly take note of missed opportunities: It’s surprising that the Rev/With his bravado and verbosa/ Didn’t try to soothe the split/’tween Dusty Baker and Sammy Sosa.
