Big news in Week 2 of RedEye’s Rotisserie Chicken–and no, we’re not talking about that thrilling Jerry Hairston-for-Todd Walker waiver move. Leo Ebersole eked out a win for the week, knotting the season series with cubiclemate and mortal enemy Jimmy Greenfield at 1-1. The final tally for Week 2 in their all-Chicago fantasy baseball war:
LEO: Well, well, well. Tie ballgame. Is that the feeble stench of sweat I detect on you, Mr. Greenfield?
JIMMY: Stop sniffing me Leo, you’re freaking me out. I fully expect to return to form this week when my team will not hit a collective .181, nor will yours hit .303. You may resume sniffing.
LEO: Now I smell perfume. You’re hiding something from me, Jimmy. What’s great is I had Jerry Hairston at second and still laid down a whipping on offense. Sweet, sweet victory. And eau de toilette.
JIMMY: I’m hiding nothing, other than that I like to wear women’s perfumes. This week could hinge on your two starts from Mark Prior vs. my two starts from Kerry Wood. I don’t like the smell of that.
LEO: Let’s figure they combine for two-thirds of a start. Advantage: Nobody. Hey, did you notice that Scott Podsednik barely played for me last week and I still tied you in steals?
JIMMY: Did you notice I had five players hit .174 or lower and I still won or tied three offensive categories? Anyway, to spice things up, and to test your gonads, I offer you Takatsu for Hawkins. You have two minutes to respond.
LEO: I’m starting to have a weird confidence in LaTroy. I think Dusty Baker’s stubborn enough to stick with him all season. I think Takatsu’s on the chopping block, hence my Dustin Hermanson pickup.
JIMMY: You’re not as dumb as you look, Leo Ebersole. Well played. Until next week, I bid you eau de toilette.
LEO’S CHICKEN SELECTS:
C Barrett; 1B Lee; 2B Hairston; 3B Ramirez; SS Uribe; OF Podsednik, Rowand, Everett. SP: Prior, Garcia, Maddux, Hernandez; RP: Hawkins, Hermanson
JIMMY’S BIRD BRAINS:
C Pierzynski; 1B Konerko; 2B Iguchi; 3B Crede; SS Garciaparra; OF Patterson, Burnitz, Dye. SP: Zambrano, Buehrle, Wood, Garland. RP: Takatsu, Marte
Selects 4
Brains 3
Season tally: Brains 1, Selects 1
BE BACK NEXT TUESDAY FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF ROTISSERIE CHICKEN!
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye
