TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHAT COULD YOU DO TO HELP THE BULLS NEXT YEAR?
TOPIC 2: WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMIC BOOK HERO AND WHY?
TOPIC 3: WHAT IS YOUR PET NAME FOR YOUR BICEPS?
TOPIC 4: WOULD YOU EVER SHAVE YOUR HEAD TO END A BAD LUCK STREAK?
TOPIC 5: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME A WOMAN WHISTLED AT YOU?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Install a rearview mirror on Chris Duhon’s forehead.
The Ambiguously Gay Duo. I’d rather not say why.
The Missing Link
No, but I’d shave my back to lose weight.
The year? 1983. The woman? Mary Kay Letorneau.
PHIL THOMPSON
New rule: Blow a defensive assignment, spend the fourth quarter working concessions.
Spider-Man. He had self-esteem issues long before it became
fashionable.
The Ben Gordon. Small but lethal. Watchoutdenow!
Look at my hair. And I’m still here between Jimmy and Leo, so what does that tell you?
Does my women’s volleyball league count? What? I’m doing my part for Title IX.
LEO EBERSOLE
Erase Game 6 from their memories. And for a limited time, I’m offering 20 percent off all mind-wiping.
I’ve always wanted Wolverine’s toughness. And his sideburns.
The left one’s “Tom Cruise,” the right, “Wesley Snipes,” and admission to the multi-flex is $10, ladies.
You mean would I take my toupee–er, uh, no. No way. What a stupid question.
I think it was a lifeguard telling me to put my shirt back on.
JOHN HANSEN
Hire back Michael Jordan. They need a real leader on that team.
Spider-Man, because I was a skinny, insecure kid like Peter Parker. I can relate.
John Jr.
No, I value my hair way too much.
Today. At the gym.
WHIZZER
Petition the NBA to start the season without the first nine games.
Leo. All I have to do is look at him and he makes me laugh. No, really. Try it.
Each has a name: Thelma and Louise.
Yes, I shave regularly. And I use body oil when I pose. John, can you get my shoulders?
Last night as I was watering our neighbors’ flowers, if you know what I mean.
