TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Have you ever been involved in an embarrassing sports video?
TOPIC 2: Why is Nomar Garciaparra the leading vote-getter among NL shortstops?
TOPIC 3: Give one good reason why New York should get the 2012 Olympics.
TOPIC 4: You’re a billionaire. You buy a baseball team. What’s your first move?
TOPIC 5: What in the world of sports are you allergic to?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
I once rented “Caddyshack II.”
PHIL THOMPSON
I get involved with embarrassing sports video every time I watch the Bears on “Monday Night Football.”
LEO EBERSOLE
Technically, any footage of me playing sports is considered embarrassing.
FERGUSON
“America’s Funniest,” but I was misled. They told me the tail-chase was for the Guinness Book of Records.
PHIL BURNS
Does falling down drunk after hitting a double bull’s-eye in darts count?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
It’s all just a popularity contest. That explains why the NL leader at second base is Lindsay Lohan.
PHIL THOMPSON
Obviously the All-Star vote is just a beauty pageant. But let’s skip the swimsuit comp., if you don’t mind.
LEO EBERSOLE
Because chicks dig the 5-3 putout.
FERGUSON
No spelling requirement on the ballot.
PHIL BURNS
America has way too many Cub fans, and they don’t know any better.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
It will give a boost to the next great sport: rat chucking.
PHIL THOMPSON
For every athlete who arrives, there’s at least one cabbie who speaks the language.
LEO EBERSOLE
If a javelin gets tossed just the right way, it could hit Donald Trump or Bill O’Reilly.
FERGUSON
Mayor Bloomberg can afford IOC goodie bags that would make Juan Samaranch blush.
PHIL BURNS
Best dogs in the country. Sorry Ferguson, I meant “hot dogs.”
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Hold “Deep Throat” night. If I can’t guess your name, you get in free.
PHIL THOMPSON
I trade for a top closer like Dustin Hermanson so I can sit him long enough to get rusty. Right, Ozzie?
LEO EBERSOLE
I’m a billionaire? Phil, Jimmy, wash my dishes. You there, dog. Dance. I SAID, “DANCE!!!”
FERGUSON
Hire Mike Veeck, get block-letter uniforms and open an outfield bar that’s accessible to the players.
PHIL BURNS
If it’s the Cubs, I move them to the Philippines and change the name to the Manila Folders.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Playing pepper, of course.
PHIL THOMPSON
As a Redskins fan, I’m allergic to division titles. And apparently sound personnel decisions as well.
LEO EBERSOLE
The Cowboys, the Red Sox, the University of Michigan and umpires with flawed strike zones.
FERGUSON
The musty odor of funk and loss that fills the late September air on Chicago’s north and south sides.
Predictions from Chicago North Side baseball fans saying, “This is our year.”
