Like many of you, I watched the Cubs and Sox power up for one run apiece Monday in losses to Florida and Arizona, respectively. I said “respectively,” not “respectably.”
Yes, it hurt. Yes, it was ugly. And yes, I came back for seconds Tuesday.
Both games started simultaneously. You know how they ended; here’s how they went.
7:06 p.m.: Sergio Mitre gets the honor of getting the first pitch off. Good news: It wasn’t knocked into the lake.
7:14: It’s not Corey Patterson’s strikeouts that bother me, it’s that he always looks back as if to ask the ball, “How the hell did you get through my bat?”
7:17: Looks like a good Sox crowd–PODSEDNIK BUNTS AND TAKES SECOND ON THE ERROR! Wow, that was kind of–HE STEALS THIRD! He’s so fast and–HE GETS DOUBLED UP ON THE LINE DRIVE! Damn it.
7:22: Concurrent commercial breaks. Do I pit this early and wait for the yellow flag? Crew chief says, “Wait.” I may regret this.
7:26: My Spidey sense tingles, so I switch just in time to see Jeromy Burnitz thrown out at second. It’s a blessing … and a curse.
7:35: D’backs load the bases with one out. Gently, Orlando, gently. And … the Sox escape. In a related story, I just swallowed a fly.
7:40: Has enough time passed since the 2003 NLCS to mention Florida’s Josh Beckett is pitching? No? Strike my last statement.
7:47: Mitre pitched at San Diego City College. Why do I know this? Because I have no life.
7:55: Two dweebs sit behind the Sox dugout, one on a phone and the other flexing for the camera. I remember when I had my first beer.
8:00: At the top of the hour, Cubs hit the bottom of the fourth, Sox are in the top of the fourth, and Michael Jackson remains a free man.
8:04: Aramis Ramirez homers, but so does Arizona’s Troy Glaus. My iPod plays The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony.”
8:16: Something happened at the Cell–I dunno, it’s all a blur–but a ball got past Aaron Rowand, and the Sox trail, 3-2. Oh the humanity.
8:33: Derrek Lee is single-handedly winning this game. Distracted by a Cubs fan holding a puppet–yes, a puppet–I miss Arizona going up, 6-3. Boy, I hate puppets.
8:39: Totally forgot the NBA Finals are on. Huh.
8:48: Cubs lead 8-0. Why not trade four runs to the Sox? I bet Jim Hendry’s on the phone right now.
8:50: William Petersen of “CSI” is singing at Wrigley. Is he good? Concentrate on what doesn’t lie: the evidence.
9:08: Nobody sings at the Cell, but plenty of fans hum nervously.
9:19: Why do lucky foul-ball-catching fans treat their catch like a Faberge egg? It’s a baseball. Stop showing off. And no, I’ve never caught one. Thanks for asking.
9:34: With the Cubs game over (yeah, yeah, just save some runs for September), I turn my bagged head to the Sox. And my remote gently weeps.
———-
Edited by Chris Malcolm (ccmalcolm@tribune.com) and Drew Sottardi (dsottardi@tribune.com)
