TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHY ISN’T THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIES AS POPULAR AS THE FINAL FOUR?
TOPIC 2: TIME TO COME CLEAN: ARE ANY OF YOU USING PINE TAR HERE TODAY?
TOPIC 3: THE POSTURING IN THE NBA LABOR TALKS REMINDS YOU OF …
TOPIC 4: BEARS REPORT TO CAMP JULY 23. WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING JULY 23?
TOPIC 5: ONE OF THE PERKS IN JOHN MADDEN’S NBC DEAL IS A CUSTOM BUS. WHAT PERKS ARE IN YOUR DEAL?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
See, that’s a trick question. There is no College World Series. Is there?
Yeah, that’s why I’m at the computer using one hand. What’s your excuse, Leo?
… trying to have sex with my girlfriend as a teenager. Damn
age limits.
Celebrating my 38th birthday.
I’ve already bought the macaroni-and-cheese dinner.
One percent cash back on my
Discover card.
PHIL THOMPSON
Because Dick Vitale saying “Dipsy-doo! Double-play-a-roo!” is stupid even by his standards.
Jimmy uses a lot of it, and his coat has never looked shinier.
… the time David Caruso almost gave his career the kiss of death by quitting “NYPD Blue.” Good times.
Driving Jimmy down to Bourbonnais. I don’t have the heart to tell him they don’t make bourbon there.
Based on where I’m sitting, hopefully it’s a lifetime supply of scented air fresheners.
LEO EBERSOLE
Because college baseball doesn’t make money, plain and simple.
Someone is, and that someone’s snout is now stuck to my leg. Heel, Jimmy.
… a baby getting ready to cry. The league’s making money. Play ball.
I’ll be RAWKIN’ OUT at LollaPALOOOOOOOZA. Ahem.
The pleasure of sharing a bathroom with these guys. Trust me, David: You don’t want in on that.
WHIZZER
Same reason why I don’t watch “Dancing With the Stars”: Too much spitting and scratching.
Pine tar? I thought it was “Pine-Sol.” Well, at least I’m lemony fresh.
… Lindsay and Jessica fighting in the press. But with bigger boobs.
Making my usual Bears Training Camp Opening Day flyover in my F-16 Tomcat.
Each Friday the guest gets to clean my ears. David, get the warm soapy water for Mr. Whizzer.
DAVID ELDRIDGE
The College World Series conflicts with Taste of Chicago. What were they thinking?
Nope. And this “Original Pine-Tar-inator” is for Jimmy. I’m just dropping it off.
… I can’t worry about the NBA
until Dee Brown makes it official. I-L-L …!
Taking “July 24” in the “Rex Grossman Injury Pool.”
I need a new agent, I signed up for Five on Five for free. That’s it, I’m holding out.
