“Million Dollar Baby” arrived this week on DVD after winning four Academy Awards. The “Rocky” movies, on the other hand, only snagged three Academy Awards, and those were all from the original 1976 film. The question remains: Could Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank) knock out Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) and reign over Hollywood boxing?
NICKNAME
Maggie
Maggie Fitzgerald: My Darling
Rocky
Rocky Balboa: The Italian Stallion
Winner: Rocky. Nobody is going to think you are tough with a nickname that reminds people you are a girl.
TRAINING
Maggie
Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood) puts her through punishing workouts, and Maggie slowly develops her skills through long hours in the gym.
Rocky
Mickey (Burgess Meredith) has Rocky running up stairs and across Philadelphia, and slugging meat.
Winner: Maggie. “Rocky III” nails the over-the-top training, but then there’s that image of Rocky and Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) running along the beach–and frolicking in the water (shudder).
SIDEKICK
Maggie
Eddie “Scrap-Iron” Dupris (Morgan Freeman) is a tough-as-nails, has-been fighter who speaks his mind and still packs a punch.
Rocky
Paulie (Burt Young) is an alcoholic who constantly annoys everyone and eventually loses Rocky’s fortune.
Winner: Maggie in a landslide. Note to directors: You could have Freeman read a cereal box, and it would be engaging.
OPPONENTS
Maggie
A host of no-name women and Billie “The Blue Bear.”
Rocky
Apollo Creed, Thunderlips, Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago and Tommy “The Machine” Gunn.
Winner: Rocky. Two quotes: “Meat; dead meat” and “If he dies, he dies.” Nuff said.
MESSAGE
Maggie
“Protect myself at all times.” Good advice, but she didn’t always follow it.
Rocky
“If I can change and you can change, everyone can change,” Rocky tells the Russian crowd in “Rocky IV.”
Winner: Rocky. It’s nice to think he might have played a small role in ending the Cold War.
Overall winner: Still fake heavyweight champion of the world, Rocky Balboa. But look out: There may be another contender lurking, Jim Braddock (Russell Crowe) from “Cinderella Man.” If only people would see the movie.
