TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: How will you show David Beckham a good time in Chicago?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
With his credit card.
LEO EBERSOLE
I smell a manicure party!
PHIL THOMPSON
Something ol’ Becky would like. The words “bodifying” and “botanicals” will be used a lot.
WHIZZER
I’ll date his wife.
BAG BOY
I’m sneaking him onto my social club soccer team. Of course, he’ll have to wear a bag.
TOPIC 2: What’s the longest you’ve ever gone missing, and why?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
I’ve never gone missing. But the rest of you disappeared for a week once.
LEO EBERSOLE
I once got lost in a toy store and remember getting really excited. That was last week.
PHIL THOMPSON
Did too much partying after the Skins’ last Super Bowl and woke up in a meat locker with Salt ‘n’ Pepa.
WHIZZER
I once hung with Bigfoot for a week. Nice guy, breath’s a little ripe. He plays chess. Who knew?
BAG BOY
…
TOPIC 3: The NHL lockout is over. OK, uh, now what?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Gee, I dunno. Want to go for a coffee?
LEO EBERSOLE
The players’ union calls a strike.
PHIL THOMPSON
I must have missed it, what did the fans get out of all this?
WHIZZER
The Blackhawks non-losing streak comes to a screeching halt.
BAG BOY
Jeremy Roenick remains uninvited to my annual golf outing.
TOPIC 4: Predict the next sports-related labor struggle.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
The NHL will invade the NBA. When? I’ll never tell, comrade.
LEO EBERSOLE
I predict it will involve giving birth.
PHIL THOMPSON
Pro golfers will strike over prize money. During their time off … they’ll play golf.
WHIZZER
Unless we get a masseuse, I walk from this dump. Who’s with me? Let’s gooooo …
BAG BOY
Players strike at the World Series of Poker. They’re bluffing.
TOPIC 5: The Chicago Marathon is Oct. 9. How is everyone’s training coming?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Not good. I pulled a hamstring typing No. 3.
LEO EBERSOLE
Hang on, dude, I’m blasting my quads–with cookie dough.
PHIL THOMPSON
If we are what we eat, Leo will be the first can of Pringles to run 26 miles. OK, 2.6 miles.
WHIZZER
Oct. 9 of what year?
BAG BOY
This time around I’m cabbing it.
