1. At least they tried
In an effort to boost interest, PBS has enlisted Brad Pitt to narrate a global health special to air in November. Right. That ought to work like a charm. Women love his washboard voice.
2. She’s qualified
Martha Stewart is publishing a handbook for people looking to start their own business. I’m guessing her prison stint for lying about stock sales won’t be in the “About the Author” section.
3. And that’s a good thing
Michael Bolton was nominated for an Emmy, and Eva Longoria wasn’t. Fortunately for us, the prime-time Emmys aren’t a swimsuit competition.
4. Home improvement
If you need any more reason to admire Vince Vaughn, here he is helping Carson Daly take a chainsaw to his own talk-show set.
5. It’s all semantics
“Wedding crasher” is a harsh term. I prefer “refreshment borrower.”
6. Ya think?
NBC released a disclaimer with preview copies of “Tommy Lee Goes to College” saying Tommy was never actually enrolled as a student during filming of the show. Well there’s an earth-shattering shock.
7. Pop quiz
Time for another round of the Nine Lines quiz sensation, “Metal Band or Bible Study Group?” Get your pencils ready … and go! 1. Lamb of God. 2. As I Lay Dying. 3. Holy Moses. (Answers: metal band, metal band, ’80s German thrash band.)
8. Nice timing
A Minneapolis woman has sued Beyonce over her song “Baby Boy.” And only about two years after it was popular.
9. Surprise!
Headline from Myanmar: “Woman ‘miraculously’ grows a penis.” Miraculous for everybody but her boyfriend. Goodnight, everybody.
