TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Besides flip-flops, what should athletes not wear to the White House?
TOPIC 2: The new Bears kicker is shopping a book called “Zen and the Field Goal.” Any other suggested titles?
TOPIC 3: Have you ever been accused of impersonating an athlete?
TOPIC 4: How can Chicago deal with the expected 100-degree weekend temps?
TOPIC 5: What’s the best way for the NCAA to crack down on illegal gambling?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Underwear. The defense-minded Bush is very fond of the atomic wedgie.
“Humiliation and the Missed Extra Point.”
No, I have not. Sincerely, Mark Buehrle.
Carry around a 50-pound block of ice in your front pocket.
Refuse scholarships to all athletes named Fat Tony.
PHIL THOMPSON
A wire.
“Foot Prince: How I Royally Kick Butt.”
Kristi Yamaguchi. I don’t like to talk about it.
We need some place that’s cooled off. Can we all fit in Jose Contreras’ arm?
Make. It. Legal! This message brought to you by Rick Neuheisel for Congress.
LEO EBERSOLE
Oh, come on. It’s not like they were wearing assless chaps.
“The Wide Left Diaries.”
Some people say I look like Matt Clement. Without the money.
Or the discernable talent.
Mayor Daley can line the streets with dry ice. It’s just that easy.
Dunno. Give me odds.
WHIZZER
Fur.
“Punters Make Me Puke.”
Once I used Jannero Pargo’s name to get a better table at Gibson’s. It didn’t work.
It’s all relative. Call someone in Phoenix, and you’ll actually feel the phone get hot.
Make poker a varsity sport.
BAG BOY
Any jersey from the following teams: Red Wings, Vikings, Pistons, Cardinals, Yankees …
“Paul Edinger Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.”
I’ve been told I resemble John Daly. From the neck down, that is.
Cold showers followed by cold beer followed by cold showers.
The next NCAA athlete caught gambling gets sent to the NAIA.
