TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Which one of you would make the best jockey and why?
TOPIC 2: Do you accept Ryan Dempster’s apology for almost blowing Tuesday night’s game?
TOPIC 3: The White Sox have a huge lead in the AL Central. What can they do to stay interested?
TOPIC 4: What have you ever unknowingly ingested?
TOPIC 5: What’s the best way to spice up a slow sports day?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Phil. Dripping wet, he weighs 48 pounds.
Only if he comes over and patches up the fist-sized hole in my wall.
Heckle themselves.
Rafael Palmeiro’s congressional testimony.
Watch my original videotape
of the 1988 NCAA title game. Kansas always wins.
PHIL THOMPSON
Jimmy, because other jockeys will look at his face and think the horses are running in the other direction.
Sure, considered the matter “closed.” I’m glad he found
“closure.” He’s a closer, OK?
Switch records with the Cubs.
Not so bored now, are you?
I nearly ingested a grub in a rice dish by a local restaurant that shall remain nameless.
See if you can trick the gullible Utah Jazz into trading for
Karl Malone (Psst, he’s retired!).
LEO EBERSOLE
Bag Boy would make the best jockey shorts. Does that count?
Yes, but only because the alternatives are Roberto Novoa and Kerry Wood.
Count the empty seats.
That should take up the rest of the season.
Too … mortified … by Phil’s … to respond.
Let’s round up some more steroid abusers and poke ’em with sticks.
BAG BOY
Oh, I would. Mainly because I’d win the swimsuit competition.
I will as long as he accepts my apology for the premature crank calls.
Fulfill my wildest dream and play with bags over their heads.
Nothing. I take in everything through a straw.
Fill out an application to have your apartment host the 2016 Olympics.
WHIZZER
Bag Boy. He just looks so damn good in a swimsuit.
Wait, he apologized for the Cubs winning? That’s just freaky.
Use a pitcher, a catcher and seven right-fielders.
My brothers once gave me steak. Later on, I found out it was cat food.
Play ding-dong ditch on Bill Wirtz.
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E-mail redeyesports@tribune.com.
