TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What would cause you to hold out of a training camp?
TOPIC 2: Why do people get as excited as they do over preseason NFL football?
TOPIC 3: the Bulls open the season Nov. 2. What’s Scott Skiles doing right now?
TOPIC 4: The U.S. was booted from an international cricket tourney. Your reaction?
TOPIC 5: You’re a producer, you’re producing. Spice up Bobby Knight’s upcoming reality TV show.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
If it was held in, say, Bourbonnais, Ill.
Because last week ESPN televised an eating competition. In prime time.
Practicing his postgame stare on local raccoons and postal workers.
They would never have beaten Pakistan. Never.
Don Rickles takes the guys to “The Tonight Show” where he shows them his version of the walk-on.
PHIL THOMPSON
No media interviews from the hot tub? That’s a deal-breaker for me.
It’s a chance to see football players tackled by someone other than sheriff’s deputies.
He’s attaching tiny weights on his eyebrows so he can scowl during the regular season.
I guess you need more training, grasshoppers.
Bobby Knight brings in Bobby Brown as his assistant. Math won’t be the only “test” the players fail.
LEO EBERSOLE
The thought of having to wear an athletic supporter for the next seven months.
They DO? I can’t IMAGINE!!! Hey, is that REX GROSSMAN warming up on the field?
Screaming at Eddy Curry to get his hands up on defense, only Eddy’s not there …
None. Crickets, on the other hand, creep me out. Along with Jimmy, they’re my least favorite insects.
“The Whisper Episode:” Bobby is fitted with an electric collar that shocks him if he raises his voice.
WHIZZER
My extended summer press junket for “Wedding Crashers 2.”
Because their lives lack meaning and their minds hover in a
demented ethereal quasi-reality.
Reading Five on Five and not laughing at anything Phil writes.
Makes me want to be Australian. That and the Aussies are getting all the good roles these days.
Every time Texas Tech loses,
Bobby removes one piece of
clothing.
BAG BOY
I would never, ever, ever hold out of camp unless I wasn’t getting paid enough.
Can’t talk. Filling out depth charts for all 32 teams. Ask later.
Plotting the takeover of the
Eastern Conference. Then after that, the world!
I officially resigned my post with the U.S. Amateur Cricket Association.
Winner joins Knight’s team for a season, losers join for two seasons.
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