The U.S. has too many peanuts. Good for your tastebuds, but possibly bad for your wallet. Farmers don’t lose, because the government guarantees them a certain price per ton. But if the market price goes down, taxpayers pay the difference. Since there’s a surplus of 485,000 tons, RedEye has five innovative ways to crack that nut.
– Increase baseball schedule from 162 games to 162,000 games.
– Genetically engineer elephants to have 10 trunks apiece.
– Instead of bling, celebs start wearing peanuts. This spawns popular clothing line Nuts by Ralph Lauren.
– Require beauty products to be made from 99 44/100 percent peanuts.
– Pay with peanuts. In: Peanuts.
Out: Pennies.
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Compiled from news services and edited by Cara DiPasquale (cdipasquale@tribune.com) and Scott Kleinberg (skleinberg@tribune.com)
