TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: andy roddick was upset at the U.S. Open right before his birthday. can it get any worse for him?
TOPIC 2: rafael palmeiro recently wore earplugs in a game. what else can he do to cope with the booing?
TOPIC 3: if the red sox were to win a world series again, what could david wells say to bud selig?
TOPIC 4: in retrospect, do you think chicago was too hard on bears QB chad hutchinson?
TOPIC 5: what’s the most important skill to have in pro beach volleyball?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
At his birthday party, his friends can play, “Pin the tail on the first-round loser.”
Shave the moustache, dye the hair, change his name to “Ted Stanozolol.”
Oh, a lot of things. He could say, “Hello, sir. May I apply an ointment to your corns?” Probably won’t.
Chad who?
Proper bathing suit-butt crack-pullout etiquette.
PHIL THOMPSON
Ryan Seacrest plays him in a made-for-TV movie.
Retire.
Let the old men duke it out. The gloves–and toupees–are off!
You know if Chad was 50 percent successful in baseball, he’d be a hero.
In my case, I’ll go with “ducking.”
LEO EBERSOLE
Sure, it could be a lot worse. He could be a hockey player.
Use the same cloaking device Peyton Manning wears every time he runs into the Patriots.
“Can I get a spare key to the Miller brewery?”
Not nearly as harsh as those Frankfurt Galaxy fans are going to be.
The ability to swallow your vomit when Bag Boy takes his shirt off.
WHIZZER
He goes on to fall in the first round of the women’s bracket.
That’s not booing. Stand next to Rob Schneider sometime. Now THAT is booing.
“Bud? That’s a funny name. What’s it short for, Budhead?”
In one very real sense I wasn’t hard enough on the boy, and that is my fault as a parent.
You have to be a very good setter, preferably Irish.
BAG BOY
Maybe he’ll put his American Express mojo on eBay and get zero bids.
Promise not to lie anymore. He did promise? I don’t believe him.
“I wanna kiss you, YEAH!”
No harder than he was on me.
Excellent oil application skills. Leo, show us your form and demonstrate on Phil.
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