It’s that time of year again.
That’s right: Twelve finalists are campaigning–non-verbally, of course–for your vote in the 2005 Capital One All-America Mascot Team (capitalonebowl.com).
Sadly, last year’s winner, Monte the Grizly from Montana, didn’t advance to the final 12. Voting is head-to-head each week of the college football season with the winner crowned the nation’s top mascot.
But what’s a competition without a scouting report? And please, no wagering.
Joe Bruin
School: UCLA
Scouting report: Political science majors know that you can’t win this event without carrying California.
Sam the Minuteman
School: UMass
Scouting report: Tri-cornered hat plays well in the east, but can it draw the southern votes?
Herbie Husker
School: Nebraska
Scouting report: Big year for Herbie, who probably met Tommy Lee. Call him. He’s got stories.
Sebastian
School: Miami
Scouting report: He’s an ibis, he’s from Miami, he likely scored a VMA gift bag (this sentence as published has been corrected in this text). It could be the bird’s year.
Buzz
School: Ga. Tech
Scouting report: The reality of the world that we live in is this: Stinging insects don’t go over real big.
Smokey
School: Tennessee
Scouting report: He lists his favorite celeb as Peyton Manning. Translation: They set the bar low in Knoxville.
Aubie
School: Auburn
Scouting report: How did this mascot not go in the NFL draft? The rumor is he had a horrendous time in the 40.
Cocky
School: S. Carolina
Scouting report: Can we all just enjoy the fact that Cocky is the mascot at the school where Steve Spurrier now coaches?
Bruiser
School: Baylor
Scouting report: It’s not going too far to say Bruiser isn’t even the best bear in this field.
Purdue Pete
School: Purdue
Scouting report:The Big Ten’s only rep. What, no Goldy? You can’t stop Purdue Pete; you can only hope to contain him.
Big Jay
School: Kansas
Scouting report: No Bucknell mascot in mix. Vegas oddsmakers are adjusting accordingly.
Butch T. Cougar
School: Washington State
Scouting report: His bio quotes Stuart Smalley–“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!”–and isn’t that soooo 1995.
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye.
