TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: DEFINE WHAT IT MEANS TO ‘CHOKE’ in sports.
TOPIC 2: WHAT WOULD YOUR DNA TEST MOST LIKELY REVEAL?
TOPIC 3: what should be the penalty for first-time steroid users?
TOPIC 4: you’re allowed to make one new rule in golf. what is it?
TOPIC 5: should the cubs bring nomar back?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Choking is blowing a 15-game lead and blaming it on the team that beat you for playing well.
One day, and that day may never come, I will lose my hair.
You have to serve a 20-game stint as Bud Selig’s manservant.
Booing is permitted. But so is throwing your clubs at spectators. So it’s a win-win.
Sure, why not. Baker won’t let
Cedeno be the full-time starter next year, anyway.
PHIL THOMPSON
Choking describes the action of Sox GM Ken Williams’ hands around Ozzie Guillen’s neck.
Mike North IS my baby’s daddy. Thank you, Maury.
Thirty pills and a gallon of condensed milk. You have one hour.
An hour of TV coverage must be devoted to Michelle Wie. Three hours if she’s in the tournament.
Time for some new blood. Who are the free agents on today’s
disabled list?
LEO EBERSOLE
It happens when you screw up a sure thing, like, say, a Cubs pitching arm or a Bears draft pick.
With any luck, that Alex Rodriguez is a distant uncle.
You must perform all subsequent injections with a cheese grater.
I get to play with a rocket launcher and laser-guidance technology. I guess that’s two rules. So sue me.
Only if their hobbies include
getting sucker-punched.
MIKE NORTH
I’m not sure. I may have a definition by 6 p.m. Sunday.
I’m part wolf.
Listen to Irish music for an hour.
Highest score wins.
If he comes back, he’ll get hurt. If he doesn’t, he’ll hit .330, 35 HRs, 117 RBIs.
BAG BOY
Choking is getting busted after telling Congress you never used steroids.
My father was a bagman for the mob.
You’re forbidden from using
cream on your steroid-induced back acne.
Sand traps cannot be used to lose your virginity.
Yes, because what you want in a ballplayer is an aging, expensive, injury-prone, out-of-position player.
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