TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Should the Sox win the series, what team member are we talking about 30 years from now?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Every. Last. One.
LEO EBERSOLE
Mark Buehrle, if only for the beard.
WHIZZER
A.J. Pierzynski, who retires as Sox manager in the year 2035.
BAG BOY
Ozzie Guillen. Or as he’ll be known then, Chicago Mayor Ozzie Guillen.
JENNIFER DREYER
A.J. Pierzynski. Any guy that can bring Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” back deserves recognition.
TOPIC 2: Any words of consolation for the St. Louis Cardinals?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Nope.
LEO EBERSOLE
When a samurai loses, he cuts himself with a sword. So, you know, be glad you’re not in feudal Japan.
WHIZZER
I got you all signed copies of Tony LaRussa’s book. Enjoy. And that’ll be $24.95 apiece, fellas.
BAG BOY
You got deeper into the playoffs last season. Care to comment?
JENNIFER DREYER
They lost to a team that once trailed first place by 15 games.
Boo, hoo Tony La Russa.
TOPIC 3: It’s prediction time. Predict the Series or any event within the Series.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Astros sweep. Why? I’ll explain afterward.
LEO EBERSOLE
During an interview, Ozzie Guillen and Joe Buck agree they only liked Coldplay before the band got big.
WHIZZER
Bored to tears during the games, the Sox bullpen sets up a lemonade stand.
BAG BOY
Roger Clemens throws a broken bat at somebody, very possibly Whizzer.
JENNIFER DREYER
Jose Contreras pitches the Series clincher wearing a fake bloody sock. Hey, whatever works …
TOPIC 4: Sox in the Series is to the Chicago Fire in the MLS playoffs as …
JIMMY GREENFIELD
I’m sorry, but I don’t answer 18-part questions.
LEO EBERSOLE
… a nuclear meltdown is to Jimmy after three tacos. Make that two tacos.
WHIZZER
Hold it. That’s a push. A possible title is a possible title, Chicago. Don’t be so picky.
BAG BOY
… A Bears’ Super Bowl win is to the College BASS Championships.
JENNIFER DREYER
… the 1985 Bears is to my 6-year-old niece’s swimming meets.
TOPIC 5: Michael Jordan said he was “stupid” in his gambling situations. When have you been stupid?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Roughly from July 23, 1967, until Oct. 21, 2005.
LEO EBERSOLE
Are you kidding me? I put the “tup” in “stupid.”
WHIZZER
I didn’t dump my ImClone stock when everyone else did.
BAG BOY
Look at me. Seriously, look at me. When haven’t I been stupid?
JENNIFER DREYER
Right now. I missed my opportunity to cap on these four dudes. There’s just so much material!
