TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What was Jimmy thinking when he predicted the Astros would sweep?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Sorry for the typo. What I really wrote was “Astros Weep.” Come on, copy editors. Do your job!
PHIL THOMPSON
I wasn’t here when he said it, but I felt a disturbance in the farce.
LEO EBERSOLE
Jimmy thinks? I was told his head was strictly for storing mackerel.
WHIZZER
He was just being different. Like that day he showed up at work with no pants. Just ignore him.
BAG BOY
From the looks of it, he was thinking about doughnuts.
TOPIC 2: How would you signal to the bullpen for Sox reliever Bobby Jenks in Game 3?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Hold up a life-size photo of Kirstie Alley.
PHIL THOMPSON
To signal for Bob’s Big Boy, I’d pat my belly. GET IN MAH BELLY!
LEO EBERSOLE
Point to a Hardee’s Thickburger, and, to make myself crystal clear, have it strike out Jeff Bagwell.
WHIZZER
Leave a trail of Reese’s Pieces from the bullpen to the mound.
BAG BOY
Arms spread apart (“Hey Jenks!”), the arms crossed in an “X” (“Tell Neal Cotts to come in”).
TOPIC 3: Paul Konerko has a new baby, a Series grand slam and pending free agency. Can it get any better?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
How about maybe winning the Series? If the Sox choke, blame the question guy. He just jinxed it..
PHIL THOMPSON
The kid will cry, someone has his grand slam ball, and he’ll get
$16 mil’ from the D-Rays.
LEO EBERSOLE
Not until he’s asked to serve as the catwalk at the next Victoria’s Secret fashion show.
WHIZZER
Bet he’d love to see the baby hit a Series grand slam.
BAG BOY
Yes. A lifetime contract to stay in Chicago.
TOPIC 4: Has this World Series brought any of you any kind of an endorsement deal?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
None for me, but expect to see Phil’s face on the back of milk
cartons very soon. Very soon.
PHIL THOMPSON
Not me, but Hawk Harrelson is due to get a deal from Enzyte: “Get up!”
LEO EBERSOLE
Nope, but Phil and Whizzer have their lingerie modeling deals to fall back on.
WHIZZER
I’m repping Nike for Five on Five. They wanted to put a “real face” on the campaign.
BAG BOY
I keep calling Boudreaux’s Butt Paste but so far, no offers.
TOPIC 5: In non-Sox news, where are the New Orleans Saints playing five years from now?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
New New Orleans.
PHIL THOMPSON
Hell finally gets their NFL team (besides the Cowboys). Coach Haslett is replaced by Tim Floyd.
LEO EBERSOLE
In the Capital One Bowl.
WHIZZER
New York City. I have no idea how they’ve survived this long without a third NFL team.
BAG BOY
The Super Bowl. Meanwhile, the Bears enter year 25 of the rebuilding plan.
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E-mail them at redeyesports@tribune.com.
