Note to Freddy Krueger: Living nightmares aren’t confined to Elm Street.
Just ask homeowners on Pinewood Drive in North Aurora and Cumberland Drive in Lincolnshire. And when you’re done there, hustle over to Walcott Court in Schaumburg, where Seth Robison is among the unfortunate homeowners who had night sweats caused by repairs or improvements that went awry–or were simply unexpected. Some of their tales are tinged with humor, while others are cautionary notes of the terrors hidden behind Sheetrock or under floors.
What lies beneath
In Robison’s case, it wasn’t the proverbial black cat that crossed his path but a dark brown kitty that caused a cleanup worthy of any “B”-movie horror flick.
When Robison toured the town home he ultimately bought, he dismissed the scented candles in a back bedroom as merely a homey touch. The bedroom also was strewn with so many boxes that the carpet was covered. But the melting wax masked an aromatic evil: the household cat. As Robison discovered once he moved in, the feline didn’t get out much. As in never. Essentially, the spare bedroom had been a 10-by-12-foot litter box.
“The unbelievably pungent smell of cat urine rose up from years of old yellow patches in the carpet,” Robison says. He didn’t notice the carpet stains before he bought the town home because stacks of boxes and clutter had covered them.
Robison knew the existing Berber would have to go, but “I didn’t know I’d have to practically burn it out.”
Donning what he describes as the closest thing to a “bio-hazard suit as I could cobble together”–including respirator, plastic clothing and rubber boots–Robison yanked up chunks of crumbling carpet and rotted padding. The urine had soaked all the way to the concrete subflooring. Even a strong bleach solution wasn’t enough to completely rid the stench. “I coated the entire surface with two layers of sealant paint, forever trapping the nasal nightmare,” Robison says. “It was a real surprise I wasn’t ready for.”
Tales of the bedroom’s horrific past sometimes take on a life of their own, Robison says. “Guests that have outstayed their welcome are quickly dispatched,” says Robison with a laugh, “when I share my story about the time a dark brown cat crossed my path.”
Bumps in the night
No ghosts rattling around in the attic could scare Leslie Donovan anymore than the beastly noise that jarred her awake shortly after she and her husband Skip moved into their Lincolnshire home.
Just a few nights before, the couple guessed that squirrels had taken up residency upstairs, and they installed chicken wire on vents to keep the animals out. Leslie thought that the wire had sealed the deal. “[My husband] told me `yeah, yeah, they’re gone,’ ” says Leslie, who assumed any wildlife had scattered.
Unfortunately, the wire managed to keep whatever was inside penned in.
“Whatever it was tried to escape by hurling themselves against the walls,” Leslie says. She tried to roust a sleeping Skip, who drowsily dismissed the noise as squirrels. “Not only that,” says Leslie, “it didn’t sound like a squirrel, it sounded like an elephant.” While Skip slept on, she bailed on the bedroom and slept on the couch.
It was only the next morning that the Donovans discovered the night visitors were raccoons, not squirrels. Hemmed in by wire, the desperate ring-tailed tenants clawed and gnawed their way through an eave in a bid to escape. The result was a gaping 3-foot hole.
Self-described city folk until moving to wooded Lincolnshire, the Donovans were forced to hire a contractor to repair the damaged eaves. It was an expensive lesson learned. “We didn’t figure holes from raccoons into our monthly budget,” Leslie says. “I will never forget the sound of this raccoon hurling itself against the wall. It was our introduction to homeownership and living among the trees and woods.”
Trail of trouble
Sometimes the littlest goblins can leave the weightiest impression. Ask Terry Waln of Wilmette. While painting the bedroom of his 18-month-old daughter Kelli, Waln stepped off his ladder for a coffee break. He left the paint tray on the floor, also recently covered with new carpet as part of the nursery renovation. He expected to be gone for only a minute.
“When I returned I noticed some paint marks on the hall wall, the carpet and almost every stair,” Waln says. Had an apparition taken over the house? Not quite.
It seems a curious Kelli had plopped her diapered derriere down in the paint tray and traipsed off to see the rest of the house, leaving her mark as she went. The one problem: The paint was oil-based, not water-soluble, readily cleanable latex.
“That was a lesson for me,” says Waln, who never used oil-based paint again.
If it’s not one thing . . .
The stars just never aligned for the seemingly benign tile job taken on by Mollie and Jeff Treest of North Aurora.
Their Pinewood Drive tract home was festooned with mottled brown linoleum adhered directly to a foundation slab. Like sensible owners, they visited a local tile store for professional advice. “All they said was, `Take it up, no problem,’ ” Mollie says.
Easier said than done. What the for-hire pros didn’t say was pulling up well-worn tiles off concrete is tough duty. Large spots of black tar had to be laboriously scraped away by hand and the surface sanded.
Mollie and Jeff then began what they thought would be a happy process of laying 844 8-by-8-inch ceramic tiles. “But none of the tiles would stick, so back to the pros we went,” Mollie says. Armed with new mastic, the Treests got one more bit of advice: Use a hammer to tamp down the tiles. Several cracked tiles later, the couple realized the pros should have, but didn’t, specify a rubber mallet. Then the pair had to drive to several stores to secure enough of the same color grout after they were sold two mismatched colors.
The coup de grace, however, was a mini-flood when the Treests broke a laundry room faucet when moving their washer. As Jeff scrambled to shut the water off, Mollie positioned a garbage can to catch the overflow. She remembers the plumber giving the couple a funny look as he made repairs.
What should have been a three- or four-day job dragged on for a month. “We could’ve paid someone to do this, but we didn’t know,” Mollie says. “It wasn’t funny at the time, but we can laugh about it now. Never again.”
Exorcising the demons
Of course, lots of do-it-yourselfers take on jobs with little incident. Yet remodeling remains a witches’ brew for homeowners who get in over their heads on projects. Contractors often are called to the scene to eliminate all evidence of the homeowner’s misdeeds.
“We’ve done this (finish work for homeowners) more times than I want to admit,” says Michael Menn of Design Construction Concepts in Northbrook, “especially in the last 10 years.”
He recounts the construction of a new home where Menn and his crews were recruited in midproject. The initial builder made a wild series of blunders that had the homeowners reeling. They were desperate for competent help, and money no longer mattered. They just wanted the job done.
“The couple already had paid this guy $250,000 or about half of the original contract,” says Menn, “and they paid us more than the original contract to finish everything and fix things that were wrong.” For example, toilet waste pipes ran uphill (fortunately, the pipes were fixed prior to use), a steel beam holding up the first floor was never connected to support beams, and kitchen vents were plugged into drywall with no outside exit.
Now for the scariest part: Menn estimates at least 20 percent of his business derives from mopping up projects beyond the skills of homeowners or other contractors who neglect or walk away from projects.
That should be enough to send a chill up the most determined do-it-yourselfer’s spine.
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Should you DIY?
Be realistic about what you can and cannot accomplish. A job that looks poorly done will not only displease you, it can be a liability when the time comes to sell your home. Ask yourself: Do I have the skills for the task at hand? Do I have the tools necessary for a quality job? Have I attempted similar work with good results? Do I have the time to plan and complete the work?
Think the job through from all angles. What appears on the surface as a routine task may be multifaceted. For example, window installation is more than simply fitting a like-size window into the existing opening. You need to connect window water barriers to existing weatherproof paper, add drain pans and new flashing. You may also need to repair rotted molding or woodwork.
Make notes of dimensions and other measurements. Put together a list of the materials you’ll need and how much.
Inspect your job site. Will the job disrupt pipes, electrical circuits or support beams? Will a permit be required?
For more extensive projects, create a budget. How much can you afford to spend and how will you spend it? A budget includes not only materials but contractor labor, equipment you need to purchase or rent, permits and fees, etc. Use spreadsheet software such as Excel to track expenditures by category: appliances, flooring, lights, cabinets, plumbing fixtures and labor, for example.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. What you don’t know can hurt project results. Prepare a list of what you are iffy on–how to fill holes in drywall or install a roof vent, for example. Experts in stores will be glad to answer your questions.
Do some homework. Buy or rent videos that outline how a specific task should be done. Many product manufacturers post how-to instructions and materials on product Web sites. Or sign up for free home repair or improvement seminars at home improvement stores.
–David Bradley
