TODAY’S QUESTIONS
JIMMY GREENFIELD
PHIL THOMPSON
LEO EBERSOLE
WHIZZER
BAG BOY
TOPIC 1: What would you do if you won a Gold Glove Award?
Collect $50,000. It’s in my contract. Then I’d drop it.
I’d use it as my credentials to preside over bar fights.
Attach it to a chain and wear it to my mixtape recording sessions.
Melt it down, make medallions and wear them when I go clubbin’.
Sell it on eBay.com to help raise funds for my supersecret acquisition.
TOPIC 2: Wanna buy that indoor football team on sale on eBay.com?
Not if it’s the New Orleans Saints.
If I had $100,000 to spend on football, I’d hire Pam Oliver as my personal sideline reporter.
Yes, and I want to turn the stands into a multitiered casino. Work with me here.
Yep. Then I’d move them outdoors, hose them down and sell the team to L.A. for $500 million.
DAMN IT. Now everybody’s gonna bid on it. Son of a …
TOPIC 3: Can you tell us your favorite memory of the Kasib Powell era?
The day I realized he would be no Jeff Sanders.
In the “Star Wars” chat rooms, he’s called Llewop Bisak–his name spelled backwards. Genius.
I’ll never forget when I read the headline “Bulls waive Powell.” He was quite a secretary of state.
I could, but I promised him I wouldn’t.
His 2 points in 21 minutes against Memphis on Oct. 12. I’ll remember that day forever.
TOPIC 4: Anything caught your eye during the first days of the NBA season?
The Bulls will be very, very, very, very bad. Or good. What the hell do I know?
Hmmm, a lot of 100-point scores already. Any chance teams will spot the Bulls a 20?
Detroit and San Antonio are still the teams to beat. Frequently and mercilessly.
The Trail Blazers’ BlazerDancers.
Luol Deng. Luol, you … complete me.
TOPIC 5: It’s never too early to prepare for Thanksgiving Day football. Your preparations are …
… basting my biceps and oven-roasting my hamstrings.
Testing my turkey sandwiches for the avian bird flu. Here Whizzer! Here boy!
I’ve already got a turkey in the oven. It’ll bake at 5 degrees for the next three weeks.
Making my famous Apple Pie
Surprise. The surprise? I bought it at the store.
I get the Dick Butkus jersey dry-cleaned and pressed.
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