Casting call
Paramount studios announced plans for a sequel to “Jackass: The Movie.” Early favorites to star include Kevin Federline and ex-FEMA director Michael Brown.
Bold move
NBC plans to create a new network that shows only mystery and crime shows. It will be called “CBS.”
Separate lives
I’d hate to have a paparazzo peeking into my living room. And that’s probably where the similarities between me and Brad Pitt end.
On top of it
Eva Longoria looks awfully cheerful considering there seems to be a giant bouquet of flowers sprouting from her skull.
Cheap shot 1
Subway announced that all of its restaurants have switched from Pepsi to Coke, not that Kate Moss needs an additional reason to eat a sandwich.
Deer sirs
An Arkansas man killed a deer with his bare hands after it crashed into his daughter’s home. In other news, Fox just sprouted about 50 new TV show ideas.
Heat wave
It’s supposed to get into the 70s Thursday. Old Man Winter forget to take his pills or something?
Cheerio
Prince Charles and Camilla visited the White House on Wednesday in an effort to strengthen diplomatic ties between rich white people.
Bizzaro world
The Sox won the Series, the Bears are in first place, and the Bulls won their first game. All right, what have you done with the real Chicago?
