1. It can’t miss
The latest Hammacher Schlemmer catalog features a laser-guided pool cue. Perfect for the bar-brawling idiot in your life.
2. Masks on
Nine days until the new Harry Potter movie comes out. Brace yourselves for a serious outbreak of the nerd flu.
3. Surprise!
In two weeks Britney Spears is putting out a new album that few people knew about until now. Needless to say, this isn’t doing wonders for my ulcer.
4. Sold
Microsoft is predicting it will sell between 4.5 million and 5.5 million Xbox 360 consoles. That’s fine for me, but what about the rest of the country?
5. Museum piece
Rapper Rico Love’s coat is on loan from the Elton John Archives.
6. Tall order
CBS and NBC announced plans to offer shows on-demand through Comcast cable, including all 700,000 “CSI” and “Law & Order” series.
7. Happy hour
Congress is set to question oil company executives about their record profits this year. What a cheerful gathering that ought to be. Is it too late to invite Darth Vader and the Emperor?
8. Maybe next time
In a recent interview, Chris Klein says he hopes his ex Katie Holmes “doesn’t have people in her life leading her astray.” Too late for that, my friend.
9. Where’s the beef?
Don’t you think it’s great that Jennifer Aniston (right) and Brad Pitt can still chat like friends? Yeah, me neither.
