Everybody loves a circus. How can you not love the elephants, the high-wire acts and the cotton candy?
Still, when it comes to clowns, nobody has us beat. E-mail redeyesports@tribune.com.
TOPIC 1: What would make a teammate punch another teammate in the jaw?
TOPIC 2: How could the Bears’ Nathan Vasher ever top that 108-yard return?
TOPIC 3: What should Mariah Carey sing at halftime of the Lions-Falcons game on Thanksgiving Day?
TOPIC 4: Invent a new feature that you would add to next season’s NFL Madden game?
TOPIC 5: Do you have a favorite part about going to the circus?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
In football, it’s just common courtesy.
Join the Canadian Football League.
She’ll have to mime “The Lumberjack Song” for me to not change the channel.
At halftime, gamers get to give Madden an angioplasty.
The emotional meeting with my dad and stepmom after I’ve somehow followed the pebbles back home.
PHILLIP THOMPSON
Sleeping with his woman, bad-mouthing him to the coach, breathing.
50-yard-line dance. Some Usher, a little Michael–the retro version, not the crotch-grabbing freak.
“East Bound and Down” by “Smokey and the Bandit” and top it with a White Lion power ballad.
The “public meltdown” button that gets you kicked out of your own game.
The “Don’t Feed Michael Sweetney” signs.
LEO EBERSOLE
Sneezing, looking funny, whistling out of tune … what? What anger problem?
Break up a pass, break up Nickelback and break up Jessica Alba and her boyfriend on the same play.
Anything that motivates Roy Williams to score three more touchdowns for my fantasy team.
“Commentary Mode:” Al Michaels confuses the hell out of us as Madden doodles on the telestrator.
Watching Jimmy, Phil and the rest of the clowns.
WHIZZER
Nothing justifies that. Unless someone hogs my Oreos. That would bring swift kung fu justice.
Oh, easy. An Oscar, an Emmy, a Tony. Not a Grammy, though. Anyone can win one of those.
An Irish lullaby. Everybody, altogether now: “Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li …”
Let players renegotiate contracts after each touchdown they score.
Watching Phil talk to the animals.
BAG BOY
How about this: “Hey Leo, Emmanuel Lewis called–he wants his shirt back.”
Do something similar on Feb. 5 at Detroit’s Ford Field.
The shortest song ever written.
Teammate punching.
Kidding me? I have no favorite parts because I’m living in one.
