TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Who wins next year’s Heisman Trophy?
Tyrell Sutton, RB, Northwestern University.
I have to research it, but I’ll start with whoever plays Illinois.
The USC QB, whomever that is.
In a shocker … Phil.
Brady Quinn. It’s part of the NBC TV deal.
TOPIC 2: How big is the Cubs’ Juan Pierre deal?
It’s huge. The Marlins could have another Dontrelle Willis on their hands.
Huge. Think of the money they’ll save on gas alone by not sending Corey Patterson to the minors.
For the city, it’s bigger than getting Bobby Howry, smaller than keeping Paul Konerko.
C’est tres grand.
So big that Sox fans will whine about the coverage in Thursday’s media.
TOPIC 3: What does Corey Patterson do now?
E-mail George Steinbrenner.
Frequently.
He’ll swing an axe as a lumberjack. The rainforest definitely will be safe now.
Put his money down for Cubs season tickets. Hey, c’mon, it’s “just a game.”
For the first time in his career, he takes a walk.
Bats .330 with 75 walks, and steals 50 for the Indians.
TOPIC 4: The Suns scored 130 points in a regulation game. How is that possible?
The game was played under
MTV Rock ‘N Jock rules.
Thirteen 10-point shots later …
They have the Matrix, whose motto is “Binary means necessary.”
Maybe they made 40 3-pointers and some easy lay-ups.
It’s not that impressive when you consider their opponent was Highland Park.
Ah, see, those are Canadian points.
TOPIC 5: The top mascot contest finals: Herbie Husker vs. Sam the Minuteman. Pick it.
In any other year Herbie would win, but Disney picked this year to release “Herbie: Fully Loaded.”
I’m confused. I thought Leo was the Minuteman.
Sam’s ESPN commercial with Andy Roddick gives him the edge.
Sam. What’s Herbie going to do, shuck him? Sam packs a musket. This is a fight to the death, right?
Ever since that Lindsay Lohan movie, I steer clear of any
Herbies.
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