1. Could it be?
Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton better think twice before calling off another engagement. People might get the impression they’re high-maintenance.
2. Home wreckers
Maybe Nicole and Paris can bury the hatchet and channel their talents into something more positive, like breaking off other people’s engagements.
3. Oh, the heartache
This just in: Kanye West and his ego have separated after a 27-year romance. Is nothing sacred anymore?
4. Pumped up
I’m done making fun of Carrot Top.
5. Not. Good.
What a great time for my heater to shut off, in the same way it was a great time for the Titanic to hit that iceberg.
6. Gotta have him
Jet Li says he’s done making kung fu movies after “Fearless.” No doubt the producers of “Legally Blonde 3” are already on the phone.
7. No ‘Hump’-ing
If the city is banning things for the benefit of public health, let me be the first to suggest the Black Eyed Peas.
8. Hoo-ray
Linkin Park says they’re “looking forward to putting out a record next year,” which is a big relief because I was just thinking to myself, “Where have all the great rap-rock artists gone?”
9. Too easy
Ice Cube is producing a documentary that transforms a black family into a white one and vice versa. Insert Michael Jackson joke here.
———-
lebersole@tribune.com
