It has been brought to my attention that I might take fantasy football too seriously.
I don’t know where my mom gets that.
OK, telling a former flame that any future wedding would have to happen before draft time in August may have been teetering on the edge. When it’s possible to arrive at a fantasy draft, say “I do,” land Shaun Alexander in the fifth round and live happily ever after, then talk to me.
Maybe doing the Neon Deion dance in the office during a huge fantasy day is a bit extreme, although I do get requests for it now and then.
But championship week is different. Even I think I need to relax.
You know that phantom ulcer you feel in the pit of you stomach after waking up from that recurring nightmare where you show up for a final exam in that class you forgot to attend all semester.
Yeah, fantasy finals, that feeling.
But how can you relax? The only feeling worse than missing the championship is losing the championship, and I can give you a whole Dr. Phil series of books on that experience.
So how do we prevent this tragedy from happening?
Recognize the land mines from the bomb players. The difference, you ask? Land mines bad; bombs good.
Land mines are those players who killed all season only to sit out three quarters while your title goes down the commode. Bombs are those players, usually on teams fighting for their playoff lives, who explode–often while sitting on your bench.
Telling the difference can be tricky. Sometimes would-be mines only need a quarter to make quick work of a weakling defense. Potential bombs just might be defused by his own team’s ineptitude or a stronger opponent.
So let’s take a look at few candidates. Mom, break out the bomb disposal suits.
RECEIVERS
Land mine Colts players
You know how Marvin Harrison finished the last two games of 2004? Fifty yards and 44 yards and no scores. In 2003: 85, 34 and no scores. Hope of a undefeated season is dashed, so play at your own risk.
Bomb
Darrell Jackson, Seahawks
Jackson had a quiet season because he missed nine games with a knee injury. But he scored in his first game back, and getting Indy at home could serve as a statement game.
RUNNING BACKS
Land mine
Willis McGahee, Bills
Nothing to lose against the AFC North champion Bengals. Not much to gain either. Don’t be fooled by a 1-yard TD against Denver. He was shut down.
Bomb
Rudi Johnson, Bengals
Johnson isn’t even the second most notable fantasy player on his own team, but he’ll be one of the big names in fantasy in Week 16. Johnson has rushed for a least 100 yards in three of his last four games and scored twice in four of his last five.
MORE TROUBLE …
Land mines:
Drew Bledsoe, QB, Cowboys
Deion Branch, WR, Patriots
Randy Moss, WR, Raiders
Santana Moss, WR, Redskins
Bombs:
Jake Delhomme, QB, Panthers
Cedric Houston, RB, Jets
Mike Anderson, RB, Broncos
Jeremy Shockey, TE, Giants
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plthompson@tribune.com
