We get asked quite a bit: “Does anyone in Five on Five besides Whizzer have legs?” The answer is “Yes, but like Whizzer, none of them wear pants.” E-mail redeyesports@tribune.com.
TOPIC 1: Who do you want to see the Bears face in the playoffs?
Jimmy Greenfield: New York Giants. QB who Bears can dominate and a weak defense.
Phillip Thompson: Can you imagine the Bears and Bucs? Final score: Bears 2, Bucs 0.083.
Leo Ebersole: If they’re truly worthy of being champions, I think they’ll have to beat the Yankees in the Bronx.
Whizzer: The Colts. If you meant NFC teams only, be more specific next time.
Bag Boy: First round? Carolina. I like our history.
TOPIC 2: The Sox were AP’s story of the year. How do Sox fans react?
Jimmy Greenfield: Another in a series of stunned silly moments.
Phillip Thompson: “About time somebody said something. They probably misspelled Sox. And why didn’t …”
Leo Ebersole: They blast the AP for reporting a story about the Cubs on the same day.
Whizzer: They issue a statement to AP saying there’s “no more room on the bandwagon.”
Bag Boy: Probably by issuing some sort of limited edition knickknack.
TOPIC 3: Cast your vote now for the biggest sports story … of 2006.
Jimmy Greenfield: Barry Bonds hits home run No. 756. Needs 44, which is Aaron’s jersey number. Weird.
Phillip Thompson: Shaq decks Kobe in Game 7 of the NBA Finals, then immediately retires.
Leo Ebersole: Definitely Angelina Jolie breaking up Ken Williams and Jon Garland.
Whizzer: Thanks to steroid testing, David Eckstein leads the majors with 11 homers.
Bag Boy: Top story: Bears win Super Bowl. Related story: Chicago fans moon Boston.
TOPIC 4: How will you spend March’s 16-team World Baseball Classic?
Jimmy Greenfield: By ignoring it and watching the NCAA Tournament.
Phillip Thompson: Protesting Bush’s denial of Cuba: “Guantanamera! … Guajira! … Guantanameeeeeraaaaa!”
Leo Ebersole: I’ll be watching the infinitely more exciting college basketball tournament.
Whizzer: Kicking myself for thinking this had anything to do Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair.
Bag Boy: Praying for the health and safety of Freddy Garcia’s throwing arm.
TOPIC 5: What sport would you push to be an experimental event in any Chicago Olympics?
Jimmy Greenfield: Bean jumping.
Phillip Thompson: Parking-space shoveling. Freestyle, of course.
Leo Ebersole: Bean bags on the lakefront, with internationally sanctioned 10-liter kegs.
Whizzer: Short-track downtown parallel parking.
Bag Boy: If they don’t have 16-inch softball, I will spearhead a tri-state boycott.
