TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What NFL team do Bears fans root for now?
Seattle. Just another kick in the butt for Green Bay if Mike Holmgren wins the Super Bowl.
Team Aniston. It’s not a NFL team, but it should be.
Keep it classy: Root for the Panthers to spill BBQ sauce on themselves and fall into a piranha tank.
Carolina wins it all, then forfeits it back when Steve Smith reveals he’s from the planet Krypton.
Football season is over. Go Hawks, go!
TOPIC 2: With his latest playoff loss, Peyton Manning reminds you of …
Roy Williams, pre-NCAA title.
He’s even got the same “daggumit” way of speaking.
Wile E. Coyote, who I think used a jet-propelled pogo stick.
Coincidence? I think not.
Patrick Ewing or, better yet, Eli Manning.
A younger Susan Lucci.
Jim Kelly. Wait, never mind.
Peyton hasn’t lost a Super Bowl yet.
TOPIC 3: Is there a way to make every NFL ref’s call 100 percent correct?
Eliminate rules.
What if they only judged coin flips? They can’t mess that up. Steelers-Lions? 1999? I tried.
We equip every cheerleader with a camera. What? We’re going for integrity here, people.
Wait for the TiVo Version 4.0 where you can actually rewind the real world. Weird, eh?
Sure. Just fix it in post.
TOPIC 4: Invent a Golden Globe category for the world of sports.
Best Performance in a Post-Game Interview.
Best Screen Play, which goes to Thomas Jones for his 41-yarder against Tampa Bay.
Best Eye-Gouger in a Hockey Scuffle, Fracas or Brawl.
Best Original Score on a Bears Backup Cornerback.
Best Push-up Bra in a Cheerleader Role.
TOPIC 5: Be the first on your block to predict the Bears’ finish next season.
Nice, easy schedule in 2006.
I’ll go with 11-5 and another NFC North title. So print it.
9-7, second in the division to the Vikings. Oh, don’t look at me like that!
A solid 9-7 and another NFC North title.
Maybe 9-5 with two undecideds, but only if Jeff Blake can stay healthy at QB.
Ask Miss Cleo.
She’s got time to kill.
———-
E-mail them at redeyesports@tribune.com.
