By now you’ve probably seen the new McDonald’s ads where average Janes and Joes sit next to a Ronald McDonald statue on a park bench. Are the Golden Arches afraid that Burger King’s The King is emerging as the more popular fast-food mascot? Two redheads enter, one redhead leaves.
WARDROBE
Ronald McDonald: Yellow jumpsuit is iconic, if not a little state penitentiary-ish.
The King: Only Batman and Flavor Flav wear a cape better.
BACK STORY
Ronald McDonald: Has been making toddlers cry at birthday parties for decades now.
The King: Emerged a few years ago in vaguely creepy “Wake up with The King” campaign.
WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM
Ronald McDonald: On the side of a Happy Meal.
The King: Lurking in your bed, or perhaps your place of business, holding a breakfast sandwich.
SPEAKING VOICE
Ronald McDonald: Actually pretty normal for a guy who wears size 15 shoes.
The King: No one who has ever heard it has lived to tell the tale.
MYSTICAL ABILITY
Ronald McDonald: Can create a yellow McDonald’s logo out of thin air.
The King: Has somehow been involved in every significant play in the NFL’s history.
POSSE
Ronald McDonald: Birdie, Grimace, The Hamburglar, movie-themed toy of the month.
The King: The King rolls solo.
OVERALL WINNER: The King reigns supreme for now. Ronald, stop trying to convince us that you’re healthy and start hooking up with Kimberly Stewart at a movie premiere.
