1. Invisible ink
Tough time to be a newspaper cartoon. I plan to duck out of the public eye and lay low for a while by quietly signing with the Kansas City Royals.
2. Trust me
During the Steelers’ fan rally, the team’s owner said, “The press, they had their doubts, but you never did, and we thank you.” Frankly, I don’t believe he was there to say that, but whatever.
3. Drive on by
Stop whining about the refs, Seattle. Seriously, you’re like Britney and the paparazzi. Life ain’t perfect.
4. Equal time
Joe Montana says he didn’t want a $100,000 appearance fee and added, “The Super Bowl is important to a lot of people, but, to me, it was more important that I was home with my boys.” Family over football? How dare you, sir.
5. Zero interest
Anybody throwing a Pro Bowl party Sunday? Just like the Super Bowl, my favorite part is the ads.
6. Oh, don’t judge
Gold-medal gymnasts Nadia Comaneci and Bart Conner are
expecting, and the baby’s due to stick the landing in July.
7. Splitting heirs
Michael Jordan on Kobe Bryant: “If I had to pick the best player in the game, he certainly is up there right now.” Just say he is or he isn’t. Where’s the harm?
8. Thaaat’s the spirit
Antonio Davis doesn’t want to
be in Toronto but said, “I’m still doing something I love to do.” The $6 million over the final 34 games helps too.
9. Get animated
U.S. Olympians include one Izzy, one Vonetta, one Apolo and one Bode.
If only Dr. Seuss were alive to see this.
FIVE MORE …
… fun Pro Bowl party games:
— Play “Pin the tail on the Chris Berman.”
— Office pool: Predict the punt yardage.
— Play “Spot the Hungover NFL Player.”
— Every time a guest says, “I wish I lived in Hawaii,” drink!
— Watch college hoops instead.
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redeyesports@tribune.com
