TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Predict a big sports news story for the upcoming week
Jimmy Greenfield: Kenny Williams prereleases apologies for the remainder of the White Sox season.
Phillip Thompson: Barry Bonds, Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis co-found chapter of Up with People … in hell.
Leo Ebersole: In a shocker, Jimmy celebrates the Bulls’ next win with neither hookers nor booze.
Brian Moore: Kerry Wood is injured in Spring Training. Save this one: It’ll be my prediction for March, April, May …
Bag Boy: Fellini-style circus clowns from the Closing Ceremony move ahead of the Hawks in the Central Division.
TOPIC 2: Should Chicago make a run at the 2016 Summer Olympics?
Jimmy Greenfield: No, because I’m already sick of talking about it.
Phillip Thompson: So we can see Kenyans moving faster than traffic on the Ryan? Don’t need the humiliation.
Leo Ebersole: Right, like we need more Americans losing in this town.
Brian Moore: Sure, and Bag Boy is our Olympic mascot.
Bag Boy: Leo, get the pooper-scooper. It’s time to take Brian Moore here for a walk.
TOPIC 3: What does Sweden’s Olympic hockey gold medal mean to you?
Jimmy Greenfield: To honor the win I shall watch the classic film “Meatballs.”
Phillip Thompson: I’m neutral for some reason.
Leo Ebersole: It means Peter Forsberg is now an enemy of the state. We confiscate his Madonna records at dawn.
Brian Moore: Now that Olympic hockey is over, a sad, sad return of the NHL.
Bag Boy: More heartbreak. I had the Finns, and I gave a goal and half.
TOPIC 4: How would you have done at this weekend’s NFL combine?
Jimmy Greenfield: My stock would have gone from “Sell” to “R.I.P.”
Phillip Thompson: Just average times, but Jimmy would have turned in the NFL’s first 4.4 40-ounce.
Leo Ebersole: I’d have broken both arms on the bench press, forcing me to fill out the psychological evaluation with my tongue. Other than that, super.
Brian Moore: I could have held a news conference to deny these
malicious charges about me as well as Marcus Vick did.
Bag Boy: Not too badly. I can dead lift Phil, and some day I hope to be able to bench 100 pounds.
TOPIC 5: Our final Bode Miller question ever: Who does the U.S. skier remind you of?
Jimmy Greenfield: A cross between Jim Morrison and Russell Crowe.
Phillip Thompson: Do you remember Reebok’s hype over Dan O’Brien vs. Dave Johnson in ’92? Exactly.
Leo Ebersole: Vince. Freaking. Carter.
Brian Moore: Barry Bonds. Both are jerks who can’t win the big one or answer the tough questions.
Bag Boy: Cade McNown.
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