Jimmy and Leo team up with RedEye’s TV spud P. Tater, columnist Katie McCollow and Metromix’s movie critic Matt Pais to deliver the snappiest Oscar comments in town. E-mail ritaredeye@tribune.com.
TOPIC 1: HAS JON STEWART HURT OR HELPED HIS CHANCES OF HOSTING AGAIN, AND WHY?
Jimmy Greenfield: I don’t get it. What sport is this about?
Leo Ebersole: Not with that hair and makeup. And his gown? Soooooo passe.
P. Tater: Anyone who can bed Halle Berry and George Clooney before a hosting gig is set for life.
Katie McCollow: I’d say he’s got a good chance of “hosting” George Clooney again.
Matt Pais: Hurt, because he was actually biting and funny. See ya next year, Jeff Foxworthy!
TOPIC 2: GIVE A NAME TO THAT THING NAOMI WATTS WAS WEARING.
Jimmy Greenfield: My future Wooby.
Leo Ebersole: The “I was making a run at the appetizers. So sue me.”
P. Tater: King Kong’s bedding.
Katie McCollow: The reason Heath Ledger’s with Michelle Williams now.
Matt Pais: The “King Kong” of dresses: Something outdated hoping for attention. I still love her.
TOPIC 3: LAUREN BACALL. GO AHEAD, SAY SOMETHING SNARKY.
Jimmy Greenfield: So THAT’S where Felicity Huffman got her inspiration for “Transamerica.”
Leo Ebersole: I haven’t seen anyone that disoriented since Tater walked into a Great Steak & Potato Company.
P. Tater: She and Elizabeth Taylor must be seeing the same doctor.
Katie McCollow: Looks like she forgot to take her Viagra.
Matt Pais: Which of her movies is not like the others: “The Big Sleep,” “Key Largo,” “My Fellow Americans”?
TOPIC 4: WHAT DID THREE 6 MAFIA SAY IN ITS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH?
Jimmy Greenfield: “Wow, Jon Stewart really is funnier than Chris Rock.”
Leo Ebersole: “We humbly thank you for your gracious recognition. Please direct us to Jessica Alba.”
P. Tater: All I caught was the bleep.
Katie McCollow: I picked out “Jesus” and “George Clooney,” which to Clooney are one and the same.
Matt Pais: “Something something Jesus something George Clooney purple monkey dishwasher.”
TOPIC 5: “BROKEBACK” LOST. WHAT WILL BE THE TITLE OF THE FIRST GAY COWBOY MOVIE TO WIN BEST PICTURE?
Jimmy Greenfield: “Saddled: The Leo Ebersole Story”
Leo Ebersole: “The Good, The Bad and the Stone-Washed”
P. Tater: “Prances with Wolves”
Katie McCollow: “A Fistful of Cowboy”
Matt Pais: “Gay Cowboy Movie”–voters obviously prefer films like “Crash,” with no subtlety whatsoever.
