TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: what’s the best part about selection sunday?
Jimmy Greenfield: It always comes on the weekend. Except, of course, in leap years.
Phillip Thompson: Getting to listen to reports from Greg Gumbel, who Mr. Blue Hands refers to as “McDreamy.”
Leo Ebersole: Cracking Oral Roberts jokes all day long.
Bag Boy: You don’t have to sit through another acceptance speech from George Clooney.
Mr. Blue Hands: Watching bubble teams’ dreams shattered … and knowing Illinois doesn’t have to sweat it.
TOPIC 2: how far does illinois make it this year?
Jimmy Greenfield: Sweet 16. Why? Because they’re not special.
Phillip Thompson: The Sweet 16 if they’re lucky. Have a crash cart ready for my boy, Blue.
Leo Ebersole: Same as last year. They lost in the second round last year, right?
Bag Boy: As far as James Augustine can take them, which is to say the second round.
Mr. Blue Hands: This is a trick question, right?
TOPIC 3: what’s your formula for picking the final four?
Jimmy Greenfield: I pull names out of a hat. One year I had “medium” in the Final Four.
Phillip Thompson: It’s a secret, but it involves a deck of cards. Duke is the Queen. I’ve got my reasons.
Leo Ebersole: I consult an astrologer. Neptune will heighten Memphis’ creativity this week.
Bag Boy: Actually, I have a guy at H&R Block. I’m all about being stress-free.
Mr. Blue Hands: Step 1: Pick Illinois. Step 2: Pick the opposite of what Digger Phelps says.
TOPIC 4: you’re stranded on an island with dick vitale. what do you do?
Jimmy Greenfield: Kill myself, baby!
Phillip Thompson: Ask the “Lost” monster to take me out immediately.
Leo Ebersole: Feed him questions about Coach K until he short-circuits.
Bag Boy: Fully inflate him, climb aboard and sail to the mainland.
Mr. Blue Hands: Here’s where my Big Blue Hands become REALLY useful.
TOPIC 5: the moment of truth: predict the 2006 national champion.
Jimmy Greenfield: Ohio State. Thad Matta’s first NCAA title. That’s right: There will be a second.
Phillip Thompson: Connecticut. Boring but–aaaack! Giant … blue hands … choking me.
Leo Ebersole: I’m going with Texas, so long as they don’t have to pass a Wonderlic test to win.
Bag Boy: Don’t overthink it, folks. There is no denying Bucknell.
Mr. Blue Hands: ILLINOIS!!! And I hope they get to play UNC again. Hey, everyone has to have a dream!
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E-mail redeyesports@tribune.com.
