TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Given his latest injury. It’s time to tag Mark Prior with a nickname.
Jimmy Greenfield: Dr. Cub.
Phillip Thompson: What to say about that troublesome shoulder? “Shouldy locks?”
Brian Moore: Prior the Crier.
Adam Caldarelli: Tagging Mr. Side Sessions with anything likely will leave a nasty bruise.
Bag Boy: Simply The Greatest Living Long-Tosser To Ever Play the Game Sometimes.
TOPIC2: What is Prior doing one year from today?
Greenfield: Making his third healthy Spring Training start for the Atlanta Braves.
Thompson: Starring as the Tin Man in a production of “The Wizard of Oz,” with Sammy Sosa as the Cowardly Liar.
Moore: Still denying he’s hurt.
Caldarelli: Once again, dashing the hopes of Cubs fans.
Bag Boy: Icing something, quite possibly his retirement cake.
TOPIC 3: How would you react if the U.S. didn’t make the World Baseball Classic semifinals?
Greenfield: Cry, spend time with friends. But I would not forget the most important thing: To live!
Thompson: Scold them. You don’t ever see NBA players getting embarrassed in international games, do you?
Moore: Come on. Most teams are made up of MLB players, so it’s not like you won’t find someone to root for.
Caldarelli: I’m rooting for South Korea.
Bag Boy: I’d file for free agency and sign with Cuba.
TOPIC 4: What’s the first thing the Dogs from the winning Iditarod team did after finishing?
Greenfield: Count how many legs they had left.
Thompson: Visited the Westminster Dog Show winner, Rufus. For them, it’s like meeting the president.
Moore: Ordered their owners to get them a beer.
Caldarelli: One said to another, “So this is Nome? I was expecting more.”
Bag Boy: They filed for free agency and signed with the Yankees.
TOPIC 5: If you don’t like college hoops, what do you do for the next three weeks?
Greenfield: Watch college hoops. Seriously, do you think you can avoid it? Yeah, right.
Thompson: Alphabetize your list of fellow communists and Martians.
Moore: Fake it, and hope no one notices. It works–just ask Adam.
Caldarelli: Stay home and Pittsnogle yourself.
Bag Boy: Not into hoops? I see. Then you’ll be escorted to the airport and shipped to France.
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E-mail redeyesports@tribune.com.
