TODAY’S QUESTIONS
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Mike North
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: The Kentucky Derby offers $1,000 mint juleps. You buying?
If I’m spending $1,000 in Kentucky, it’s got to involve Ashley Judd.
Uh, no. Does “mint” refer to the flavor or how much they cost?
If I am, I better be waking up with a Super Bowl ring and Rachel McAdams’ phone number.
No, I’m betting.
Only if it includes unlimited free refills.
TOPIC 2: What could Derrek Lee get you for your birthday?
Something a baby would love.
A digital image of himself … on a disc … surrounded by a PlayStation 3 … or 48 of them.
For just $300 a day, he can sponsor a degenerate journalist in Chicago.
How about a $1,000 mint julep?
Nothing you can buy, so maybe a hug and, oh, 57 homers this season.
TOPIC 3: You’re a boxer, you’re coming into the ring. What song do they play?
Chopin’s Funeral March, but with new, upbeat lyrics.
“Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?” by Culture Club.
“The Chicken Dance.”
“Mandy.” I like to relax before a big fight.
The theme from “St. Elmo’s Fire.” I’m a lover, not a fighter.
TOPIC 4: Say, how about that new St. Louis Cardinals stadium, huh?
Say, how about a real question, huh?
Q: Are those spiffy new upper decks collapsible? A: They soon will be! (Cue evil laugh).
I thought the Mark McGwire Backne Check Booths were a nice touch.
I can’t stand the color red.
It’s perfectly suited for yet another roll-over-and-die playoff performance.
TOPIC 5: Have you purchased your sports-related baby gift for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes yet?
I’m re-gifting whatever Derrek gives me.
I bought a T-ball set and an intervention … that, um … all the … pros … use. Right.
The child’s concussion-preventing Bears helmet is in the mail.
A video of Tom’s movie “Days of Thunder” to put mommy and baby to sleep.
I kept it very tasteful and got the kid an out clause in his contract.
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E-mail the crew at redeyesports@tribune.com.
