1. Hush
There’s lots of talk that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will follow Scientology’s practice of staying quiet when she gives birth. Probably won’t be comfortable for Katie, but, frankly, we’ve been waiting for a silent Tom Cruise since 20 minutes into “Top Gun.”
2. Man down
Bucky’s off “American Idol.” You can’t argue the third law of physics: Two obnoxious country singers can’t occupy the same space at the same time.
3. Next step
Lindsay Lohan plans to star in a new movie with Jane Fonda. Let’s see: She’s released two albums, is starring in a movie with Fonda … she’s about three divorces away from becoming J.Lo.
4. Star power
Winnie the Pooh accepts his star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, then leaves to score some “honey.”
5. The long haul
Auto shop Midas just announced a winner in its longest commute competition: a guy who drives 186 miles each way. Somebody get him a drink … and maybe a Stadium Pal.
6. Chop chop
Toyota is recalling Lexuses because of faulty seat belts, which means Lexus owners now have no clue what to do with their chauffeurs.
7. 2 legit
MC Hammer has a blog. Or at least someone claiming to be MC Hammer has a blog in his name, which might actually be more pathetic.
8. Stuck on you
I agree with today’s cover about love on the CTA. Just the other day I had to tell the piece of gum I sat in “Let’s just be friends.”
9. Wasted
Geologists in Sweden say they have found ancient worm feces, but they won’t rule out that they stumbled onto VHS copies of “The Matrix” sequels.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
