TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What was on your NFL draft day sandwich?
Jimmy Greenfield: I actually traded down and had some matzo with peanut butter.
Brian Moore: The regular stuff: Cheese, lettuce, tomato, mustard, Mel Kiper’s hair.
Whizzer: Me and two SI swimsuit models. Hey now!
Bag Boy: Couldn’t eat. The Bears traded out of the first round, and I puked. What? TMI?
STICK FIGURE: Toast.
TOPIC 2: The Bears going with so many defensive draft picks is like …
Jimmy Greenfield: … a genie granting me three wishes and me saying, “Nah, I’m good.”
Brian Moore: … the Bears not drafting a tight end.
Whizzer: … Mandy Moore getting a little work done.
Bag Boy: … me wearing four bags on my head.
STICK FIGURE: … what does “…” mean?
TOPIC 3: How should MLB honor Barry Bonds’ 715th homer?
Jimmy Greenfield: Present him with a new vehicle, then place him in cuffs in the back seat.
Brian Moore: Throw it back at him.
Whizzer: Name an intergalactic star after him, preferably one that’s about to burn out.
Bag Boy: Throw a surprise retirement party.
Oh, he’s such a nice man. Give him more of his special candy!
TOPIC 4: Quickly play out the rest of the Bulls-Heat series.
Jimmy Greenfield: GORDON! … Time out … SHAQ! … Time out … WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG?!
Brian Moore: Settle Game 7 with “H-O-R-S-E.” Dwyane Wade calls “bank,” makes it. Kirk Hinrich misses–Heat win!
Whizzer: Bulls up 101-100. Scott Skiles sends in five air conditioners. Bam! Bulls beat the Heat.
Bag Boy: If the Bulls keep playing like this, they win the series. That said, Miami in six.
STICK FIGURE: I can’t talk. My cousin Tyson Chandler got an owie.
TOPIC 5: If Five on Five had a rain delay, how would we spend it?
Jimmy Greenfield: We’d bring in Anna Benson to talk to us in the booth. And just stare.
Brian Moore: Wear bags on our heads or huddle under Jimmy’s Barbie umbrella. I choose the umbrella.
Whizzer: Make Brian eat five hot dogs and then do belly flops on the tarp–157 times.
Bag Boy: I like to ride the exercise bike while eating a dozen doughnuts.
STICK FIGURE: Away from that old man. He’s always snoring.
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