TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: A new lacrosse team in Chicago reveals its name and logo on Thursday. Suggest a name.
Jimmy Greenfield: The New York You Can Have ‘Ems.
Phillip Thompson: The LaCrosse Dressers. OK, fellas, at least give me a head-start before you come after me.
Leo Ebersole: Styx. As a promotional tie-in, all players must grow perms and sing power ballads.
Mike North: The Exotics.
Brian Moore: The Underachievers. It’s time for truth in advertising in Chicago sports.
TOPIC 2: Have you ever wanted to throw something at AN umpire?
Jimmy Greenfield: A martini, but only when they get fresh.
Phillip Thompson: No, Delmon Young did wrong. You should only spit at umpires, right Roberto Alomar?
Leo Ebersole: Depends. Phil, have you ever been an umpire?
Mike North: Uhhh, a pair of glasses. Boy, that’s original.
Brian Moore: I thought of throwing a beer, but at $5? C’mon. I threw an autographed Kerry Wood ball instead.
TOPIC 3: Jake the Dancing Kid boogies for the Pistons. What can you do to cheer a Chicago team?
Jimmy Greenfield: Sorry, but I’m an objective member of the media. Just like Mike North.
Phillip Thompson: Make David Blaine hold his breath until the Cubs put two wins together. I call it “Dead Man Swimming.”
Leo Ebersole: We introduce Jake the Ice Dancing Kid for the Wolves next season.
Mike North: Wear a Cubs jersey, and throw with a towel.
Brian Moore: I cry in my beer for the Cubs on a regular basis.
TOPIC 4: Pick a sport for one of the “American Idol” finalists.
Jimmy Greenfield: Russian Roulette.
Phillip Thompson: Rocker Chris Daughtry: Hoarse racing.
Leo Ebersole: I think Taylor Hicks would excel at being a rugby ball.
Mike North: How about get a job?
Brian Moore: Taylor Hicks. NASCAR driver. Connect the dots, people.
TOPIC 5: Anybody catch the Chicago Sky’s first exhibition game?
Jimmy Greenfield: Sorry, I was busy having my back hair removed.
Phillip Thompson: I didn’t think there would be any tickets left at the UIC Pavilion’s broom closet.
Leo Ebersole: No, but to be fair, I’ve also been snoozing through these second-round NBA playoff games.
Mike North: I hope the players’ moms and dads went.
Brian Moore: Oh, me, me. Preseason WNBA fever. Catch it!
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E-mail the crew at redeyesports@tribune.com.
