TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What’s the real reason Yankees owner George Steinbrenner got angry at Alex Rodriguez?
Jimmy Greenfield: Let’s just say A-Rod wouldn’t let George get to third base.
Phillip Thompson: He overheard A-Rod’s question to Derek Jeter: “So, what’s the nightlife like in New York?”
Leo Ebersole: They’re both a little broken up over the “7th Heaven” finale.
Adam Caldarelli: A-Rod was late with the calzones–again.
Bag Boy: The last two words an owner like Steinbrenner wants to hear: Balloon payment.
TOPIC 2: What do you make of a general manager who resigns a week and a half after the NFL draft?
Jimmy Greenfield: Please be Angelo … please be Angelo … please be … Casserly? OH, COME ON!
Phillip Thompson: After passing on Reggie Bush, Charlie Casserly’s moving someplace where he can’t be extradited.
Leo Ebersole: Looks like somebody’s been getting nighttime visits from the ghost of Reggie Bush.
Adam Caldarelli: Isn’t this what you’re supposed to do when you pick a guy named Danieal from Abilene Christian?
Bag Boy: If he waits until the season starts, he might not make it out of town. You listenin’, Angelo?
TOPIC 3: How would you serenade White Sox slugger Jim Thome?
Jimmy Greenfield: Slip an Angelina Jolie mask over his head then share a moment only two lovers can know.
Phillip Thompson: “Oh sooolo homer-o! By Jiiim-a Thomeee! …”
Leo Ebersole: I’d make our own Jimmy sing him Tina Turner’s “The Best.” I’d supply the lyrics, he’d bring the heels.
Adam Caldarelli: Opera. “M’appari tutt’amore” from Friedrich von Flotow’s “Martha.”
Bag Boy: I’d like to, but the bag muffles the words. And let’s face it, I might be a little creepy.
TOPIC 4: Appoint someone to Mayor Daley’s Olympics committee.
Jimmy Greenfield: Jesus Christ. Not that one, the other one.
Phillip Thompson: Tamron Hall of Fox. And I do mean “Fox.” (Call me, Tam. Seriously. 312-555 …)
Leo Ebersole: Welcome aboard, Opening Ceremonies Coordinator Conan O’Brien.
Adam Caldarelli: Dusty Baker should be available soon. He’s good with … actually, I’m not sure.
Bag Boy: Mayor wannabe Luis Gutierrez. Sit back and watch the fireworks.
TOPIC 5: Lawyer Ron. Quick, who is that?
Jimmy Greenfield: The man who defended me after I left Enron.
Phillip Thompson: A horse and a bankruptcy attorney. You should have seen the “ass” who was representing me before.
Leo Ebersole: Ron Jeremy’s 4,529th movie role.
Adam Caldarelli: Word association? Lawyer Ron is either a horse, a Bears late-round draft pick or both.
Bag Boy: Lawyer Ron has advised me not to answer that question. This interview’s over!
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E-mail the crew at redeyesports@tribune.com.
