TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Is there any sport that should be played in the rain?
Jimmy Greenfield: Water dodging.
Phillip Thompson: Beach volleyball. In fact, it should be a law.
Leo Ebersole: There are two: Football and cheerleading.
Whizzer: Chess, cuz you squares iz all wet! Ain’t dat right, Rizzo?
Jason Franztke: All Cubs games. It’ll spare you the inevitable disappointment.
TOPIC 2: What’s an appropriate retirement gift for today’s NFL receiver?
Jimmy Greenfield: A $25,000 gift certificate to Bail Bonds for the Discriminating Athlete.
Phillip Thompson: A large charitable donation in their ego’s name.
Leo Ebersole: Someone–a personal assistant, maybe–who pays attention to him non-stop.
Whizzer: One free hit on the cornerback of his choice.
Jason Franztke: A lifetime supply of ribs at Jack Stack BBQ. ‘Nuff said.
TOPIC 3: A freelance producer plagiarized “The West Wing” in an NBC sportscast. Your thoughts?
Jimmy Greenfield: Do you believe in miracles? Yes!
Phillip Thompson: Better to copy the TV show than anything said inside the real West Wing.
Leo Ebersole: Nothing helps a struggling network like stealing from its own lame-duck TV show.
Whizzer: I’ve been borrowing Rebecca Romijn’s lines from “Pepper Dennis.” You know, pillow talk.
Jason Franztke: When exactly did Hollywood become a fountain of originality?
TOPIC 4: What’s a “time trial”?
Jimmy Greenfield: Professional joyriding.
Phillip Thompson: The hours spent watching the Indy 500 qualifiers–which is a crime in my book.
Leo Ebersole: One excuse for Indy fans to get drunk. Others include wedding receptions and waking up.
Whizzer: The endurance it takes to stand this close to Jason for more than a minute.
Jason Franztke: Any time spent at Home Goods, watching HGTV or in France.
TOPIC 5: Pitch Ben Gordon’s new energy drink, BG7.
Jimmy Greenfield: Good idea.
Phillip Thompson: Two percent of every bottle is Ben Gordon’s actual sweat! Cheers!
Leo Ebersole: Give yourself the boost you need to be benched at random for Eric Piatkowski.
Whizzer: Hey, “BG7” could have been his rap album, so guzzle it down and be thankful.
Jason Franztke: “It can help you beat the Heat!” Or maybe not.
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