TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Name one way Chicagoans can prepare for the upcoming Cubs-Sox series.
Jimmy Greenfield: Remove and keep in storage four pints of your own blood.
Phillip Thompson: Obviously we’ve been gearing up each week by eating half our weight in fried food.
Leo Ebersole: If you’re a Sox fan? Bring a broom.
Brian Moore: Jump on the Sox bandwagon now. The wheels have come off the Cubs’.
Bag Boy: Do like me and book your bail bondsman now.
TOPIC 2: How is the Pennsylvania man named Stanley Cup like the actual Stanley Cup trophy?
Jimmy Greenfield: They both spend the off-season traveling the world with strange men.
Phillip Thompson: The fact that both are shaped like a keg is no accident.
Leo Ebersole: Both agree that hockey players should shave before kissing them.
Brian Moore: Just like hockey, no one cares about Mr. Cup, either.
Bag Boy: Beneath their steely exteriors lies a layer of creamy marshmallow filling.
TOPIC 3: Give Sox manager Ozzie Guillen one thing he is allowed to argue with umpires.
Jimmy Greenfield: How large to make the statue of him that will one day be erected outside U.S. Cellular Field.
Phillip Thompson: Get up in their faces and argue whether he should keep eating garlic and onion sandwiches.
Leo Ebersole: I think the Jessica Alba-Scarlett Johansson debate is fair game.
Brian Moore: He can argue for the slaughter rule against the Cubs. Should save us all some time.
Bag Boy: That Chris Daughtry should not have been voted off “Idol.” Sorry, America, I won’t let it go.
TOPIC 4: Amsterdam advanced to NFL Europe’s World Bowl. The implications?
Jimmy Greenfield: At hash bars all over Amsterdam, fans will be saying, “Dude, you got any cookie dough?”
Phillip Thompson: The league loses several players to suspension when the team serves Space Cake for dessert.
Leo Ebersole: First 15,000 fans get a bowl of cereal and a copy of Cypress Hill’s “Black Sunday.”
Brian Moore: Thousands of high Admirals fans descend on Germany, devouring the country’s Doritos stockpile.
Bag Boy: Their QB starts Week 7 for the Bears.
TOPIC 5: What special thing did you do on Mother’s Day?
Jimmy Greenfield: Yelled at a 7-Eleven clerk for being out of Mother’s Day cards.
Phillip Thompson: Well, I know Bag Boy had brunch with Jerry Angelo because he always calls him “mother.”
Leo Ebersole: I told Bag Boy to change his boxers and spared his mom a trip to the basement.
Brian Moore: Let the wife sleep in and watched the kids. That’s as good as gold.
Bag Boy: Painted the bag pink.
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