1. Pain, no gain
Once again, I’ve been left off PETA’s sexiest vegetarian list. Look, I know cheese puffs aren’t vegetables. All I’m asking is that you acknowledge the bikini wax.
2. Playing the part
MTV has picked up a reality series about professional dancers that will be produced by Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo has agreed to occasionally appear on the show. Her butt is still in negotiations.
3. Win-win
50 Cent and Paris Hilton were among the stars at the premiere of the “X-Men” movie in France. Fortunately, no one was shot, and no one’s IQ dropped 30 points.
4. Wardrobe malfunction
OK, I’m not a country star like Julie Roberts, but if I were, I might decide against a shirt that announces I’m bologna or, worse, that I’m a weiner.
5. Oh, the pain
Madonna’s mimicking the crucifixion during her concert seemed like it was done in poor taste. Then again, now she knows how it felt to listen to her last two albums.
6. As seen on TV
There’s going to be a video game based on “Lost.” It will instruct your TV to tease you for six months, then suddenly leave you with a big cliffhanger.
7. Need … spring
You know it needs to start warming up outside when you’re seriously making plans to go see “Poseidon.”
8. Back in action
Bruce Willis says “Die Hard 4″is close to getting the green light to start production, or, more accurately, the IV drip.
9. Sweet dreams
Comedian Penn Jillette has named his second child Zolten. “It’s the name of Dracula’s dog,” he explained. Which is what any small child would want to be associated with.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
