1. It comes to this
This could be a tricky “American Idol” vote. I predict the one that butchers every other song will end up beating the one that butchers every song.
2. Tears of a clown
Speaking of predictions, Vegas is taking bets on how much Paula Abdul will cry during Wednesday’s results show, to be measured like inches of rainfall.
3. Should be a big seller
Brad Pitt says his baby’s arrival is “imminent.” People magazine is hard at work preparing its inaugural “50 most beautiful placentas” issue.
4. The money pit
You’ve read all about how celebrities use birthing pools and have “silent births,” but sources say Pitt and Angelina Jolie will have a more traditional Hollywood birth and deliver the child into a stack of Louis Vuitton handbags.
5. Home wear
Martha Stewart called. She wants to know who allowed one of her quilts to be turned into a blazer.
6. He’s in
President Bush said he won’t likely go see Al Gore’s documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.” Asked if he’d see “X-Men 3,” the president slapped on a Wolverine wig and gave two claws up.
7. Waiting for a reply
Early reviews say “X-Men: The Final Stand” doesn’t have the complexity the first two “X-Men” movies had, which begs the question: What complexity?
8. Ba-dum-bum
The vampire musical “Lestat” will be closed on Broadway. Sad story, really. Someone in the audience had garlic breath.
9. Kill it and grill it
RV ownership is at a record high right now. Not surprisingly, flattened squirrel has replaced pizza as America’s favorite food.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
