If anyone’s circulating a petition to make three-day weekends mandatory 52 weeks a year, e-mail me. I’ll forge just about every signature I can come up with.
2. Creativity in action
It’s not that we all ate so much at Memorial Day weekend barbecues, it’s that we all gagged when the Cubs invented three different ways to lose.
3. Hype it up
Big win over the Reds though. Probably saved Dusty Baker’s job. Wheeee!
4. Addition by distraction
Kind of like the fact that the Sox aren’t in first place. Keeps `em hungry, keeps `em fighting, keeps our minds off the Cubs leading Pittsburgh for fifth place.
5. Compact swings
Twenty homers for Jim Thome. Twenty in 50 games. A season is 162 games. Do the math. Mercy.
6. Awkward moment
Jockey Edgar Prado plans to visit Barbaro for the first time since the horse got hurt. My prediction: Prado does most of the talking.
7. Border lines
Headline: Ricky Williams joins the Toronto Argonauts. My question: How did he get past customs?
8. It’s true
Northwestern’s women’s softball team makes a World Series this century before the Cubs do.
9. Version 3.0
New revised NBA picks: Heat over Pistons, Mavs over Suns, Heat over Mavs, and Mark Cuban blames the loss on A.J. Pierzynski.
FIVE THINGS …
. . . conversation starters for Prado when he visits Barbaro:
– “Angelina had a girl. Yeah, ‘Shiloh.’ I don’t get it either.”
– “Let’s agree to not watch the videotape of the fall.”
– “My fantasy baseball team is in the toilet. Ugh.”
– “Scale of 1 to 10: How’re the sponge baths here?”
– “You had me at ‘Hello.'”
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REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
