My friends and I are past our Jager bomb primes. But when I heard about Four, a new cherry-berry malted energy drink created by Phusion Projects–a company founded by twentysomething friends, including Lincoln Park’s Chris Hunter, 27–I was intrigued.
Hunter calls Four the “original body buzz beverage,” thanks to one of its four key ingredients: wormwood, which some of you international travelers may recognize as a component of absinthe. (Four’s other active ingredients: caffeine, taurine and guarana.)
After working hard on a Friday, I rounded up three gal pals* to party hard as a foursome. At around 7:30 p.m., we started popping 16-ounce cans of this 6 percent alcohol by volume energy drink. Here’s what happened.
Friend No. 1
DRINKIN’ DOLL, 26
Let’s just say I drink 20-plus cocktails a week. The truth would be scary. Caffeine? A can of pop a day or the occasional latte.
TASTE: Like what I used to toast New Year’s with before I found the liquor cabinet: similar to sparkling cider. But I was a tad disturbed by the persistent foam that clung to the rim of my glass. FYI: After adding a splash of vodka, it went away.
ENERGY: Soon I was no longer grumpy and congested from an allergy attack; I was totally perky and happy. Two hours later, I was shouting, “[Bleep] yeah, let’s party!” By 10 p.m. my heart was racing. We hit the club and danced for three hours straight.
BUZZ: It was hard to separate the caffeine jolt from an alcohol buzz.
HORNY FACTOR: Does touching your own boobs count? Not like that! I was rearranging cleavage for our night out. I did, however, have the most vivid sexual dreams that night; I was surprised to wake up alone.
MORNING AFTER: Zero hangover; that’s a first! I felt great, not dehydrated, and even played a softball game that morning. The downside: I woke up at 5:30 a.m. after only two hours of sleep, then kept waking up every hour on the hour.
BOTTOM LINE: When I’m looking for a night out without any regard for time, sure, I’ll pick up a can. The no-hangover factor’s a big draw. But as a regular addition to my personal menu of party drinks? Probably not.
Friend No. 2
BUZZIN’ BUSYBODY, 32
I work and play hard, so I have around 20 energy drinks, 20 cocktails and who knows how many cups of coffee a week.
TASTE: Light and effervescent, but very sweet. In fact, too sweet and syrupy for me; it tasted like liquid cotton candy. Kinda gross, so I couldn’t drink it all night.
ENERGY: I wonder what it meant that I was dancing around my house and having serious Nutella cravings at 10 p.m. In fact, I was licking the jar.
BUZZ: Minimal, compared to a night of classic cocktailing.
HORNY FACTOR: Didn’t feel anything more than the usual. I wanted my boyfriend, but that had nothing to do with Four.
MORNING AFTER: I slept with some interruptions–but not due to Four (wink, wink)! No hangover. I felt great in the morning.
BOTTOM LINE: I plan to stick to my Red Bull and Rockstar.
Friend No. 3
POP IDOL, 27
Every day I have at least two cans of Diet Coke and only about four alcoholic beverages a week.
TASTE: Looked like Jell-O, tasted like Jell-O. The foam that collected on the sides of my glass was scary. It was very sweet. Almost like a Bartles & Jaymes.
ENERGY: More than an hour after drinking, my headache went away and I just wanted to bust a move. In fact, though I had planned on bailing early, I stayed out ’til 2 a.m. and danced myself into sweaty oblivion.
BUZZ: At 9:15 p.m., my Jewish flush kicked in: I was red-faced, warm and wide-awake.
HORNY FACTOR: Um, does naughty-texting one of your crushes while gyrating on the dance floor count? I noticed people gravitating towards my cleavage and I didn’t mind. I mean, the girls did look damn good that night.
MORNING AFTER: No hangover, no need to make a greasy food run. It was easy to get up, but I also woke up repeatedly.
BOTTOM LINE: It’s a little too sweet for me, but for those occasions when I feel like partying hard, hangover-free, I’d pick up some Four.
Friend No. 4
CAFF-FIEND, 26
I can’t do without my morning macchiato or latte and pop during lunch. Plus, I have the occasional energy drink.
TASTE: Like candy. It wasn’t flat but not super-bubbly either; I think that’s a good thing. No taste of alcohol at all; I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
ENERGY: At 10 p.m. I was feeling restless. I started dancing before we even got to the club. Then, after shaking it to Shakira non-stop for hours, all I could say was, “My hips don’t lie!”
BUZZ: One hour later, I didn’t even feel drunk. If I drank as many cocktails as Fours, it might have been a different story.
HORNY FACTOR: If you measure horniness by the number of men I was scoping out, then sure, I was horny. There was no follow-through, though. But I did have a very vivid sex dream involving a man I’ve never actually slept with.
MORNING AFTER: After going to bed at around 3 a.m., I woke up at 5:58 a.m., and then every hour until about 9:58 a.m. Exactly one hour would pass between wakeups, no alarm clock involved. Weird. And I didn’t have a lick of a hangover! That’s unlike me.
BOTTOM LINE: It’s so sweet you can only drink so much of it before you start to feel a bit sick, but the partying effects are pretty impressive. You get brazenly energized and confident, but without the fogginess of being drunk.
Four plans to launch in Chicago mid-June. Until then, look for 2xFour packs ($3.99 plus tax) exclusively at participating White Hens and Park West Liquors (2581 N. Lincoln Ave.).
*The names of the women participating in the taste test have been changed.
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kmbudell@tribune.com
