1. Father knows best
Bradgelina baby watch, Day 5: A doctor reveals that Brad Pitt cut his daughter’s umbilical cord. That should make for an awkward conversation 15 to 20 years from now.
2. Making the switch
DMX says he might change his stage name to the Dog “for spiritual reasons.” And because “Chamillionaire” and “Guzillion” are taken.
3. Poor souls
A new survey says two out of three college grads go into debt. In response, Congress is considering a complex aid package that consists of beer rationing and pirated Cartoon Network.
4. Hair-raiser
Pink inspires herself to write a new hit song, “Stupid Wigs.”
5. Title holder
Uma Thurman will star in a romantic comedy called “The Accidental Husband.” Britney Spears didn’t go and authorize a movie about her life, did she?
6. Dear dairy
Twenty-five people were injured chasing cheese down a hill during a competition in England. The sad thing here is that this would qualify as the most exciting thing to do in Wisconsin other than watching a Packers game.
7. Like a lead balloon
There are rumors that Madonna could get a huge paycheck to put on a concert special for one of the major networks. Oh yeah, crucifying herself on national TV–that ought to fly in the red states.
8. Sweet, sweet folly
ABC is hyping a new show called “Master of Champions.” Is it bad form to root for this thing to get canceled just for the irony of it?
9. Turn down the mic
Thanks to “American Idol’s” success on Fox, we get “Rock Star” on CBS and “The One” on ABC this summer. Makes you wonder when NBC is going to roll out “Must Be Tone-Deaf TV.”
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
